Mend Her Shattered Heart
by Athena mou
Summary: Mary's attempt to find love outside of the English aristocracy ends abruptly with her fiancé in jail. Accepting Matthew's proposal she finds herself married to the heir. Will things work out for them? As the Dowager says, "Marriage is a long business."
1. Chapter 1

**Rating**: PG-13 (will change to M eventually)

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: In rebellion against her family, Lady Mary Crawley is determined to find love outside of the English aristocracy after her disastrous break with Matthew. When a certain Richard Carlisle crosses her path, she is intrigued. He is a handsome man, older than her, dangerous and he offers a life of power and endless wonder. But is this enough? Will she be able to forget Matthew and learn to love Richard? When she finally finds the answers to her questions, Carlisle is hit by the most detrimental blow to his entire career and the dominos start to fall and Mary finds herself right in the middle. _Alone_.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

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_Thank you for reviews and comments. The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!). Love it, love it! Please feel free to drop me a line._

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**Mend Her Shattered Heart**

**Chapter 1**

Mary stared up at the canopy above her. The duvet covering her was thick and warm, yet she felt frozen to the bones and she started to shiver. Mary felt icy cold fingers slowly closing around her heart, squeezing until she feared that it would shatter into a million pieces. She swallowed and fought the tears again. She was a lady, the daughter of an earl; she would not be caught crying like a sniffling child. Rationalizing to herself that she had made peace with her fate a long time ago, Lady Mary mustered up all the courage she had left as the door to the bedroom slowly opened.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Six months prior, Lady Mary had been engaged to Sir Richard Carlisle, newspaper mogul and one of the most powerful men in England. Lord Grantham had been furious when she had informed him that Sir Richard had proposed and that she was going to accept. Perhaps it was due to the fact that Robert had never actually believed Mary when she had voiced her rebellious thoughts to marry outside _the pool _once her cousin, Matthew Crawley had withdrawn his offer of marriage to her. Lord Grantham had been stunned and deeply hurt when his eldest daughter's engagement to Richard Carlisle was announced.

As it happened, Lady Mary had accepted Richard Carlisle and embarked on a string of fashionable events in London which brought her to the top of the list of influential young women to know in Edwardian London. Mary had loved every moment of the attention; it was only when she was alone with Sir Richard that she worried about her future as Mrs. Richard Carlisle. As time passed, he pressured her more and more to set a date, becoming increasingly more aggressive about it, and Mary started to question her decision, but not enough to do something about it.

Through the oftentimes tumultuous courtship, the two had eventually reached some form of amicable agreement. Mary did not trust Richard, but she felt that she could be satisfied with the life he offered. Only days after making this realization, her fiancé, Richard Carlisle, was in jail for blackmail and slander. He argued that he had been framed by his competitors, and had been fed faulty information. The result was still the same, Sir Richard was behind bars. It had not helped his case any further that the focal person of the scandalous story, a fairly close relation to the royal family, had hung himself in his bedroom, mere days later.

The door had barely closed and the key turned in the lock on Sir Richard Carlisle, before Lord Grantham announced that the engagement between his eldest daughter and Sir Richard had been broken. Carlisle, knowing full well what the loss of Lord Grantham's support would do to his character, screamed bloody murder from his cell, promising revenge on the Crawleys. Mary's face and name soon flashed on the cover of every competitor's paper, questioning her involvement in the scandal, and faster than the papers could print updates, the doors were slammed in her face. Lady Mary was now an outcast from the English aristocracy that had so recently been worshipping the ground she walked on.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary strolled through the grounds of Downton Abbey like a ghost. She only picked at her food and seemed to be withering away. Her family whispered behind her back, worrying, unsure what to do. After a few weeks of this, Lady Mary fainted in the library one afternoon. Her cousin, Matthew Crawley, ran to her side and managed to catch her as she sank to the floor.

Matthew had swept her up in his arms and gently put her down on one of the sofas. She weighed almost nothing and he could feel her ribs through her dress and chemise. He looked down at her pale face and for the first time noticed the dark circles under her eyes. It hurt him to see her like this.

Somehow knowing with certainty that Mary would be uncomfortable having him see her in this manner, he left her in Anna's and Lady Grantham's care while he went in search for Lord Grantham.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Cousin Robert," Matthew said loudly to alert the man that he was coming.

Robert turned around and smiled at him, shading his eyes from the sun as he watched Matthew approach him across the lawn. Isis wagged her tail happily by his feet.

"Matthew! What brings you up here today?" he said cheerfully as he continued his walk, now with Matthew by his side.

"No reason really. I just felt a need to be surrounded by the lovely Crawley ladies."

Robert laughed and shook his head. "I am sure that they were more than challenging."

"Truthfully Robert, no," Matthew said softly. He met Roberts gaze. "I am worried about Mary."

"Ah," Robert said with a deep sigh. "Give it some time. She will get over it."

"Perhaps, but she's hurting so much. She fainted in the library just this afternoon."

"What?" Robert came to an instant stop. "Did Cora call for the doctor?"

Matthew nodded in confirmation. "I have a proposition."

"Go on," Robert said and eyed Matthew warily.

"Mary and I were once on good terms. We were almost engaged. I still believe that without others interference, we would be married by now."

"I agree, but Matthew that is long in the past. It will do no one any good to dwell on what might've been."

"Perhaps it is not too late?" Matthew said slowly.

"What are you saying?"

"Do I have your permission to marry your daughter Mary?"

"Matthew," Robert gasped. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do!" Matthew snapped. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh."

"Don't worry my boy."

"I care deeply for Mary," Matthew said seriously. "I think I can make her happy, if she would allow me to."

"What about her feelings for you?"

"I wish I could say that I knew she still loves me, but I cannot. These days she is so distant. Still, I think we can make it work. Being close to her is all that matters to me. If the love happens later, it will only be so much sweeter."

Robert nodded, for a second having a flashback to his own marriage to Cora. Love had indeed not happened at first, not until after almost a year. Yet these days she was his rock, and he could not fathom being without her, or not sleeping next to her every night.

"Very well Matthew, you have my permission."

"Thank you."

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Are you serious?" Mary exclaimed and stared at him.

"Quite," Matthew said curtly.

"Marry _you_?"

"Yes. We almost did once, Mary. No one could be a better mistress of Downton than you."

"I see," she said and looked down at her clasped hands. "So what you really want is a housekeeper."

"Mary! You know that's not what I was saying. I want to make you my wife. I will be a good husband to you and someday, hopefully years from now, we will run Downton together. We came very close to embarking on this a few years ago. Surely you're not so affronted by marrying me that you would not even consider it?"

"You have not even asked if I love you," she said and sighed.

"Even if you don't, I will honor and respect you and love you as my wife. Perhaps one day you will return my affection."

His affection, she thought. So he did not actually love her, but he did need her. She sighed. "Very well, it is the most reasonable thing to do. I would hardly get a better offer and at least I know that you will not be a beastly husband."

Matthew gritted his teeth at the hollowness to her voice, and the absence of any emotion. "So you accept?"

"I do. I will marry you, Matthew."

He sat down next to her and took her hands. She flinched at the touch and his brows furrowed. "I am so pleased, darling." She looked up at him and he leaned forward to kiss her. At the very last moment she turned her head and his lips missed hers and instead brushed against her soft cheek.

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><p>.<p>

They had made the announcement at dinner that evening. Everyone was thrilled and the conversation flowed like never before around the table. Matthew kept an eye on Mary, noting the polite smile, and the vacant look in her eyes. It made him feel like he actually was the sea monster she had once jokingly accused him of being.

The next morning it was in the papers and everything fell into place after that. Mary participated in the preparations for the wedding, nodding her consent to every suggestion, not once objecting or offering her own thoughts. Her lack of enthusiasm was not lost on the people closest to her, but since no one could come up with a better solution or even a reason why she should not marry Matthew, they all kept quiet.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary stared up at the canopy above her. The duvet covering her was thick and warm, still she felt frozen to the bones and she started to shiver. It was her wedding night and she should be filled with joy and giddy anticipation, but instead Mary felt icy cold fingers slowly closing around her heart, squeezing until she feared that it would shatter into a million pieces. She swallowed and fought the tears again. She was a lady, the daughter of an earl; she would not be caught crying like a sniffling child. Rationalizing to herself that she had made peace with her fate a long time ago, Lady Mary mustered up all the courage she had left as the door to the bedroom slowly opened.

Matthew closed the door behind him and smiled as he faced the bed. "Hello, darling."

"Matthew," she said stiffly.

He took off his dressing gown and slippers, arranging them on the hanger placed by the window. He slipped into bed next to her, facing her. Mary was on her back, hands on her stomach, looking up at the canopy.

"Do you want me like this?" she asked. "Or would you prefer that I take off my nightgown?"

Matthew just stared at her. He slowly reached out and placed his hand over hers. She flinched at the touch.

"Mary…" he said softly.

"If you think that I will do some unmentionable things to you for your pleasure, I will tell you right now that I will not. I am your wife and I will yield to your desire. I will give you an heir, but after that you are not to set foot in my room or share my bed again."

He was taken aback by her sudden coldness and hostility. "I understand."

She turned her head and looked at him. "So…"

His hand was still on hers and he could feel her trembling. With alarm he realized that she was actually shaking. He sighed and moved his hand to her cheek.

"Mary, I can tell how much this frightens you."

"Of course it doesn't," she snapped.

"You are shaking, my darling," he said very softly. "I will never force intimacy on you, not even tonight, _especially_ not tonight. It hurts me that you can even think that of me. I will not touch you until you are ready. If we never have an heir, so be it."

Mary just stared coldly at him. "A man has needs. Do you plan on taking a mistress?" she said icily.

"Of course not!" He felt the anger bubble up inside him at the thought of it.

"Good, because I will not stand for the gossip."

"I will share your bed," he said softly, keeping his temper at bay. "And I wish for you to let me hold you."

She frowned and he could tell that the request had confused her.

"Why?"

"Because you are my wife, and I am very fond of you. Perhaps by showing my affection, you will warm up to the idea of me."

"Perhaps. I will make no promises."

He chuckled and nodded. "I know." He caressed her cheek for a moment. "Now, please turn over on your side so we can get some sleep."

She did and he spooned up behind her. He sighed when she froze as he pulled her against him. She was stiff as a board in his arms for a moment before she relaxed. He moved his hand over her stomach, stroking calming circles.

"What about the maid?" she said suddenly. "She will know that we…"

Matthew frowned. He had almost been asleep. What on earth was Mary talking about?

"What?" he croaked out.

"The sheets," she said stiffly.

Matthew felt his face get warm. The unmistakable proof that the bride had been pure and virtuous – the stained sheets.

"We will figure something out tomorrow. Don't worry. I will take care of it."

"Thank you," she said softly.

_To be continued_…


	2. Chapter 2

**Rating**: PG-13  
><strong>Spoilers<strong>: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set after the end of Season One, before the war.

**Summary**: As Matthew wakes up with Mary in his arms the morning after their wedding he decides to try to do everything he can to win her love. Lady Mary Crawley is of course not going to make the journey easy for him, but we all know that Matthew is just as stubborn and determined as his young wife. Will the two get through their first day as a married couple without fighting? What does the future hold for them?

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**Chapter 2**

Matthew woke up feeling warm. Something tickled his nose and he tried to brush it away. He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Mary's dark head resting on his shoulder. Her arm was around his waist and she was fast asleep. He ran his fingers through her soft hair, marveling at the incredible feel of it sliding against his skin. She stirred and looked up at him. When she realized just how close to him she was, she started to pull away.

"No, please," he said softly. "It is all right. I enjoy having you here."

"As you wish," she said and sighed.

"Darling, where are you on your cycle?"

"Matthew!" Mary said shocked. "That is hardly appropriate to talk about."

"Of course it is. Your cycle is related to when you can get pregnant which in turn is directly related to giving birth to an heir."

"I see," she said and sighed. "I am almost at the end," she said weakly, unable to look at him.

"Would Anna be suspicious if you told her that you had started?"

Mary frowned then understood his meaning. "I think so, though she would never say. The problem would occur in a week or so when it will start for real. A woman does not bleed for that long. At least I never have."

Matthew sighed. So much for that idea. He eased out from under her and went into the other room only to return a moment later. Mary sat up in bed looking at him.

"What are you doing?"

He sat down on the bed again and opened his pen knife. She gasped.

"Matthew! Are you mad?"

"Lie down for a moment. I want to be sure that I have the spot right."

Mary's face was bright red as she did as he asked. She moved up to sit against the headboard watching him cut his finger. She winced as he hissed at the pain. Red blood dripped onto the white sheet and she watched in fascination as he rubbed it in in a few places.

"That should do the trick, don't you think?" he said and smiled at her.

"How am I to know?" she said softly.

Matthew felt like a real prig. Of course she did not know. He realized that the knowledge that it could and _would_ be her body leaving those stains, must frighten her.

"I do apologize. It was insensitive of me."

"No need to explain," she said and slipped out of bed. "Are we done? I would like to ring for Anna to take a bath."

"Of course." Matthew could tell by her tone that he had been dismissed to his dressing room.

He stopped next to her for a moment and pulled her to him. Gently brushing his lips against hers he kissed her good morning for the first time. She was too surprised by his gesture to stop him.

"I am looking forward to spending the day with my wife," he said and smiled. "Please dress for a walk after you are done with breakfast. Enjoy your bath, darling."

Mary stared at the closed door, wondering why she did not resent him more.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary slipped into her dressing gown and hurried out into the hallway and down to the bathroom. She nodded a greeting to Anna who was coming up the stairs with a bucket of hot water.

"I will just be a minute," she Mary quickly and entered the bathroom, closing the door.

Mary leaned against the door fighting the tears that burned behind her eyelids. She took one deep breath after the other trying to calm herself. She made quick business in the bathroom and then stood by the sink, holding on to it as she again fought the tears. One heart wrenching sob escaped and she clapped her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes tightly. She gripped the cold porcelain sink harder, fearing that she might fall should her grip slip. A soft knock on the door made her flinch and she stared at the door in panic.

"Milady? Are you all right?"

"Of course," Mary responded. She turned on the faucet and splashed some cold water on her face. She dried herself and took one last deep breath before letting Anna in.

Anna smiled at her and moved by her to add the steaming bucket of water into the tub.

"That should do it," Anna said cheerfully.

Mary nodded and watched as Anna closed the door before facing her. She stood still as Anna removed her dressing gown and silk nightgown.

"The water is a bit hot, but not too bad I think. Let me know," Anna said and held out her hand to Mary, helping her in.

Mary nodded and slowly eased into the water. She sighed at the wonderful warmth.

"Here, this will make you feel more comfortable, milady," Anna said and gently put a folded towel under Mary's head. She stroked Mary's hair before moving away.

"Thank you Anna."

"Of course, milady," Anna said and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

Mary felt her stomach tighten and her hand trembled a little as she gripped the side of the tub. Anna's eyebrows shot up at the sign of discomfort.

"I'm quite all right, thank you," Mary said, her eyes still closed.

"I'm glad to hear that. I knew Mr. Crawley was an honorable man and that he would treat you right."

Mary's eyes opened and she glared at Anna. Anna took a step back, surprised by the sudden anger in Mary's eyes. She had rarely, if ever, seen Lady Mary's anger directed at her.

"I know you care Anna, and I value that, truly I do, but this is not up for discussion. _Ever_. Is that clear?" Mary said icily.

"Yes, milady," Anna said quickly. "I'm sorry. I meant no harm."

"I know," Mary said and sighed. "Let's not dwell on it."

Anna nodded. She grabbed the bucket and faced Mary. "Will that be all, milady?"

"Yes thank you, Anna."

Anna nodded and slipped out of the bathroom.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew looked up when Anna entered the dining room. He smiled at her.

"Good morning Anna."

"Good morning, Mr. Crawley," she said and smiled at him. "Lady Mary wanted me to tell you that she is having breakfast in her room this morning."

He nodded. "I suspected as much. She was a little tired this morning. Yesterday was a long and very emotional day."

"It sure was."

"Will you please remind my wife to dress for a walk later?"

"Certainly, Mr. Crawley."

He nodded at her and picked up his newspaper again. Anna slipped out and closed the door behind her. Once he was alone again Matthew lowered his paper and sighed. He had to make things right with Mary, but how? She seemed to have completely written him off.

Matthew leaned back in his chair and gazed out the window. It was the first time that he had been alone since yesterday morning. The first time he had really had a chance to take in what had happened. He was married. He had a _wife_. He chuckled to himself. A very beautiful wife at that. He sighed at the thought of her this morning. The feel of her head resting on his chest, her soft hair, her slender, warm body pressed against his in sleep. At least she wished to be close to him while asleep, he thought and sighed heavily.

Deciding that he was done with breakfast, he folded his paper and stuck it under his arm before leaving the dining room to enter his office. He crossed the room to his desk and pulled out one of the drawers. Inside was a small wrapped present. He smiled, remembering picking it out a few weeks ago. Grabbing the gift, he put it in his pocket and closed the drawer.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary turned and her dark eyes met his. "There you are," she said, sounding slightly annoyed. "I thought for a moment that you had forgotten that you had summoned me for a walk."

"Mary, please," he said and sighed. "It is a beautiful day and I would like to enjoy it with my wife. Can we at least try to be cordial to each other?"

"Very well," she snipped and took his arm. "Where are we going?"

"No were in particular," he said and smiled at her. "Would you like to walk up to the big house? The grounds are beautiful right now."

"Wherever my husband wishes to go, I will follow," she said and looked away.

Matthew gritted his teeth and fought back a sharp comment. Instead he forced a smile and tucked her arm under his.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

They had ended up at Downton. Not wanting to sound rude to Lord and Lady Grantham, they had accepted the invitation to stay for lunch. Mary had been very quiet and only picked at her food. She smiled and pretended to listen to the conversation, but anyone who knew her noticed that her forced smile was a little too cheerful, and her lack of participation was uncharacteristic for her.

After lunch, Lord Grantham had asked to see Matthew in the library. Edith was talking to Lady Grantham so Mary took the opportunity to slip outside. She walked slowly across the lawn to her favorite spot, her bench in the shade under the large tree. She sat down and sighed as she stared out in front of her. This place was her solace. So many of her problems and conundrums had been solved while sitting here. She closed her eyes and sighed when she heard soft approaching footsteps. Rustling of a dress made her realize that it could only be one person.

"No need to sneak around, Mama," she said and rolled her eyes.

"Mary, my dear," Lady Grantham said and sat down next to her. "You were so quiet at luncheon. Is everything all right?"

"Of course," Mary said cheerfully and smiled at her mother. "I am a new bride, my husband is charming and will one day inherit my father's estate. What is there not to be happy about?"

"I don't know," Cora said and tilted her head. "Mary," she said softly. "If last night was hard for you, please know that it will get better."

Mary stared shocked at her mother. "Mama! Honestly! I cannot believe that you're even talking about this with me."

"Oh, Mary," Cora said and sighed. She smiled sadly at Mary. "It was never appropriate to tell you before, but since you're now a married woman I feel that I can share with you that I did not love your father when I married him, nor did he love me."

Mary's eyes widened and she blinked a few times. "And what makes you think that this is something I wish to hear now?"

"I understand that it is hard to comprehend that your parents are affectionate with each other," Cora said gently.

"Hard is an understatement," Mary muttered. "I mean of course you have been. After all I am here and I have two sisters, but honestly, Mama, you must understand that no child wishes to hear about their parents' intimacy."

Cora laughed and nodded. "True. My point was that your father is an honorable man, and he was very patient and kind to me. I see the same traits in Matthew." She looked up at Mary who still looked shocked. She leaned closer and caressed Mary's cheek. "I grew to love your father and I know that he loves me. Intimacy was hard at first, but over time…"

"Mama!" Mary almost yelled. "Please. I cannot listen to this," she said and shook her head, jumping up and taking a few steps away. She whipped around and looked at her mother. "I highly doubt that it will be an issue anyway. Matthew doesn't seem overly interested in the deed."

Cora flinched and looked surprised at Mary. "I find that very hard to believe. You are a beautiful woman, Mary, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mother. Matthew is a young man, and from what I can tell, quite healthy."

"Mama, why do we need to keep talking about this?" Mary pleaded, her hands pressed against her cheeks.

"Because it is important," Cora said sternly. "You need to give him an heir."

"You never did," Mary snapped.

"Mary!" Cora exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, Mama. Truly I am," Mary said softly and sat down again. "That was uncalled for."

"I will accept your apology, Mary, because I know you did not mean it the way you said it."

Mary nodded. She looked up at Cora with tears in her eyes. "I just wish that it was easier."

Cora pulled Mary to her and held her as Mary cried softly against her shoulder.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew stood by the window, watching Mary and Lady Grantham. He wished that he knew what they were talking about. He had an inkling to what it might be related.

"Matthew?" Lord Grantham said gently behind him.

"What? Oh, hello," he said and smiled, slightly embarrassed at having been caught staring at his wife and mother-in-law.

Robert came up next to him and peered out the window, spotting the two women. He smiled knowingly and patted Matthew's shoulder.

"Give it a little time, Matthew," he said with a sigh.

"Of course," Matthew said quickly.

"It took a while for Cora and me to find our way," he added.

Matthew swallowed and nodded, hoping that Robert would not share any details.

"I fear that Mary is still upset over all that has happened," Matthew said gently.

"You are a good man, Matthew. If anyone can sort it out, you can."

"I appreciate your confidence in me," Matthew said and sighed, silently thinking that he wished that Mary shared her father's feelings in the matter.

"I assume nothing alarming transpired," Robert said vaguely, eying Matthew carefully.

"No, of course not."

"Good, good," Robert muttered to himself.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

When Matthew spotted Cora coming across the lawn alone he saw his chance to have a quiet word with Mary. He smiled and held the door for Cora.

"Thank you Matthew," she said and smiled at him.

"Is Mary all right?" he asked quickly.

"You must understand, dear, that Mary's life changed quite a lot when she married you. She will need time to adjust."

Matthew sighed and nodded. "Of course."

"Perhaps you should go and spend some time with her?" Cora suggested.

"Are you sure that she wants company?" he asked and eyed Mary who was still sitting like a statue on the bench.

"Matthew," Cora said softly. "You're her husband. I cannot imagine that she would not want to spend time with you."

Matthew smiled a little and tugged at his waistcoat. "I guess I should make sure that she is not feeling abandoned."

Cora smiled and patted his arm. Matthew took a deep breath and set out across the lawn.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

"Mary?" he said softly.

She looked up at him, her expression so vacant he almost took a step back. He gestured to the bench and she nodded and looked down. She plucked at the lacy edge on her handkerchief. Noticing the nervous act, Matthew gently took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over the back of hers.

"Darling, I want to make you happy. Will you at least allow me to try?" he said and smiled.

Mary looked up at him. "Of course. We are in this for a long time Matthew. We simply must make it as bearable as possible."

"I want more than bearable, Mary," he said, a little more harshly than he had intended.

"Only the future can tell," she said and sighed.

"I am going to simply smother you with my affection," he teased. "You will be unable not to succumb to my charm eventually."

Mary huffed and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. The goofy grin on his face was endearing and she laughed, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Oh, Matthew," she sighed.

Matthew let go of her hand and instead put his arm around her shoulders. She stiffened at first but eventually relaxed and leaned against him. Matthew stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out the small gift and placed it on her lap. She turned her head and looked at him.

"You have to forgive me, Mary, but buying gifts for you is something that I take great pleasure in," he said a little embarrassed. "This gift however, I selected extra carefully since I knew that I was going to give it to you today, the day after we were married."

"Matthew, honestly," she said and rolled her eyes. "You do not have to do that. Love cannot…"

"Please Mary," he said and touched her chin, making her look at him. "My gifts will never, ever come with conditions. They are given simply because I hope they will bring you joy and happiness."

"I apologize," she said softly. "I'm afraid that it is a lasting bad habit from my time with Richard. His gifts always came with conditions."

Matthew gently caressed her cheek and he was pleased that she did not flinch at the touch. When their eyes met again, he smiled at her.

"I am not Richard. Rest assured, Mary, accepting a gift from me will never hurt you." She nodded slowly. "Now open it!" he said excitedly.

Mary chuckled at his almost childlike enthusiasm. She gently pulled off the ribbon and wrapping, revealing a black box. She pried open the lid and stared down at the contents. Inside was one of the most beautiful necklaces she had ever seen.

"Dear God!" she gasped. She looked up at him. "Matthew," she whispered. "You shouldn't have. This must've been very expensive."

"Don't worry about that," he said and made a little gesture, brushing off her concern. "Do you like it?"

"How could I not?" she said softly. "It is quite simply gorgeous."

"I am so glad. When I saw it in the store I felt that I had to buy it for you. It was as if it spoke to me, telling me that it was made to rest around Lady Mary Crawley's beautiful neck. Only a great beauty could wear something like this. Anyone else would fade in its shadow."

Mary swallowed and ran her fingers over the precious stones. She felt tears in her eyes at the sight of it.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I will wear it tonight."

He tugged her closer and kissed her temple. Not wanting to push his luck he remained silent next to her, enjoying the moment.

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* * *

><p>.<p>

That night Mary sat silently by her vanity after having dismissed Anna. She turned her head and glanced at the bed. It did not invoke as much fear as it had the night before, but it still made her stomach turn into a tight knot. She jumped when the door opened and Matthew came in.

"Hello darling," he said and smiled. "Are you all right?"

She nodded and watched him take off his robe and slippers before getting into bed. She raised her eyebrows in curiosity when she noticed that he was holding a book. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Are you coming to bed?"

She sighed and got up, slowly moving over to the bed. She lifted the covers and eased between the sheets, being careful to stay on her side. He turned his head and smiled at her.

"I picked up this book in town the other day. I am quite excited about it actually."

"Oh?" she said, curious now. "What is it?

"H.G. Wells, The World Set Free."

"I haven't read that one," she said, interest peaked.

"I will be delighted to let you have it, once I'm done with it," he said and smiled at her. "I think it was just recently published. Are you familiar with Wells?"

She nodded. "I've read a few of his books."

"I'm surprised, but pleased. I quite like him," Matthew said with a wide grin.

"I admit the first one I read mostly out of spite when Edith said it was boring and not intended for a woman's eyes."

Matthew laughed and nodded. "I can see that. To which of his books was she referring?"

"The Time Machine."

"Oh," he said and made a face. "I'm sad to hear that. It's one of my favorites."

"Mine too," Mary said very softly.

Matthew chuckled. "See, we do have some things in common."

She nodded and leaned back against the pillows. She lost herself in thought about how things could have been, what she had fantasized about as a young girl. Matthew watched her for a moment before returning to his book. His relaxed behavior rubbed off on her and she settled in.

"Is the light bothering you?" he asked after a moment.

"What?" she asked, still deep in thought. "No, not at all."

He smiled and went back to his story. She eyed him for a moment and then sighed.

"You could read to me, you know," she muttered.

"Would you like me to?" he said eagerly. "I just started it tonight so it would not be a bother at all to start over."

She looked into his clear blue eyes and saw his eagerness to please her. His smile spoke of delight at sharing the story with her. Mary felt that for a moment she could imagine what Matthew had been like as a young boy, before the burden of life and adult responsibilities settled on his shoulders. She thought that she might have enjoyed knowing him back then. Realizing that he was waiting for an answer she nodded and turned to face him. Mathew flipped to the beginning of the story and started to read. His voice was soothing and he was actually very good at it. Mary put her hand under her cheek and watched him as he read to her.

_To be continued…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Rating**: PG-13 (will change to M eventually)  
><strong><strong>Spoilers<strong>:** all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Mary is struggling to settle in as Matthew's wife. Her internal turmoil is still making it hard for her to fully accept her life. Realizing that it is not Matthew's fault she is trying hard to find a middle way. Not entirely sure that he will not start pushing for intimacy between them her guard is still up. Matthew is being patient as the two get to know each other better.

**Note**: I know it is a bit angsty in the beginning. I feel that this Lady Mary does not trust easily. As much as she says that love is not important to her, it really is. Stay with them and believe in them and I promise that it will happen for them.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you for reviews and comments. The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!). Love it, love it! Please feel free to drop me a line._

…

…

**Chapter 3**

Mary eventually accepted that Matthew was not going to push her into intimacy. It both pleased her and upset her for some reason. She knew that everyone was watching her, waiting for her to show signs of pregnancy. The thought of it made her furious. She felt dehumanized, as if her sole purpose was to be the vessel that carried and nurtured the future heir, while pleasing the current one.

Still, Mary would not mind having a child. During her many hours of contemplation over her future she had often returned to imagining what a child of theirs would look like. Would their son or daughter have Matthew's blue eyes, or perhaps her dark eyes? She tried to imagine a small boy with Matthew's eyes and hair, and only saw him. Envisioning a child with her eyes was for some reason easier. During one of these daydreaming sessions she had dozed off and she woke up with a gasp when she realized that she had dreamt about a child, a little girl. She could not have been more than four or five years old. She was running down the graveled walkway at Downton, her pink and white dress flapping around her skinny legs as she ran towards… Matthew! He had caught her and tossed her up in the air, her long dark hair falling in heavy waves down her back as she laughed with joy, wrapping her little arms around Matthew's neck. They had turned and looked at her, identical eyes and smiles.

"Mama!" the girl said and her smile widened.

Mary got up and walked to the French Doors leading out to the garden. The dream had stirred up emotions she did not know she possessed. She stepped outside and took a deep breath of fresh air. As she closed her eyes again she saw the little girl's smiling face.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

During the weeks that followed the two settled into a sort of routine. At night they went to sleep next to each other. Matthew made no move towards further intimacy and Mary did not offer any affection except pressing his hand against her stomach. At first he was not certain if it was to ensure that he did not touch her elsewhere, or because she liked the feel of his hand. One evening when he just rested his hand on her hip instead of pulling her against him she took his hand and firmly pressed it against her chest. Matthew held his breath as he felt the softness of her breasts next to his hand. He closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. The next night she did the same thing and Mathew started to feel a tingle of hope.

He had become used to the gentle weight of her head on his chest in the morning, and the days when he woke up to her sleeping next to him he missed it. The first time he had woken up alone in the bed, realizing that she was gone and that the sheets were cold where her body had been, he had jumped out of bed in panic, fearing that he would find her asleep in the dressing room, or worse. When she returned a little while later, dressed in her robe with her hair wet she laughed at the look on his face.

"Did you think that I had _escaped the coop_?" she teased.

"I was not sure actually," he admitted.

"You have given me no reason to want to run from you Matthew," she said softly.

"I am very relieved to hear that," he said with a nod.

"Now, please get out of here so I can let Anna in to dry my hair and dress me."

He rolled his eyes at her and she laughed. Matthew sighed and smiled to himself as Moseley helped him dress. At least Mary was talking to him, and liked to tease him again. Perhaps this was the first step towards… no he shook his head. He was not going to start hoping when there was no real change.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Mary," Matthew said at breakfast one morning.

"Yes?"

"There is one important member of your family that you have yet to introduce me to."

"What?" she said and frowned. "You know everyone that matters."

"Diamond," he said slowly and watched for her reaction.

"Diamond!" she exclaimed and burst out laughing. "You want to _meet_ Diamond?"

"Yes I do!" he said with a laugh. "He is the only horse you ride, and you're the only one who is allowed to ride him, so yes, I do want to meet him."

Mary thought about it as she sipped her tea. "He might not like you, you know."

"I'll take my chance," he teased. "Let's go riding together."

"Now?" she said in surprise. "My riding gear is at Downton." He smiled mischievously and she frowned. "What is it?"

"I asked Anna to bring your favorite outfits. They are here, waiting and ready for you upstairs."

"I see," she said and sighed.

"Please don't say anything," he said quietly. "I had no ulterior motive whatsoever in arranging for it, only the desire to take my wife out to see the estate. That does not sound so bad now, does it?"

"No it doesn't," she agreed and smiled at him. "Not at all actually. It sounds quite nice, Matthew. It was very thoughtful of you." She put her cup down and smiled at him. "I guess I better go and change."

Matthew just stared at her. She stopped by the door and looked at him over her shoulder. An eyebrow arched in amusement at his stunned expression.

"Are you not going to change?" she said with a teasing chuckle. "You most certainly can't ride out like that."

Matthew put down his cup and jumped to his feet. "Of course!"

She shook her head and continued upstairs, followed by a slightly confused, but happy Matthew.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew smiled when Mary took his hand as they walked closer to the dark horse.

"Thank you, Lynch," Mary said and took the reins from him.

"My pleasure, milady," he said and nodded. Turning to Matthew he smiled at him. "Your horse will be out in a moment, Sir."

"Thank you, Lynch."

Matthew turned to Mary, watching as she held out her hand, offering her horse a piece of carrot. Diamond seemed to be more than eager to take the treat from her.

"That's a good boy, Diamond," Mary cooed and scratched the horse between the ears.

With her hand on Diamond's neck she turned and smiled at Matthew. She held out her hand to him. He smiled when he saw what was in the palm of her hand, a carrot. He carefully took it from her and nodded.

"Diamond darling, this is my husband, Matthew," she said gently to the horse. "You've seen him before, but you should know that you will see more of him now." The horse made a snorting sound and Matthew's eyebrows shot up.

"I think he might be jealous," he said and shot Mary a glance.

"Don't be ridiculous, Matthew," she said and rolled her eyes. "He's a horse, not another suitor."

"If you say so," he muttered. "I just want you to know that if I lose a finger or two, it will be your fault."

Mary laughed and her eyes twinkled. "Oh Matthew. Just give him the treat, or he might bite you," she teased.

Matthew shot her a dark look. "Not funny."

Matthew held out his hand to Diamond who took the carrot very gently from him. Matthew smiled and shot Mary a glance. "Not a word, darling."

Mary giggled and patted Diamond's neck. Interested to know if this man who smelled a bit like his mistress had any more treats, Diamond pushed against Matthew's chest. Mathew let out a little surprised noise and Mary laughed.

"I think he likes you," she said and gently touched Matthew's arm.

Matthew smiled at her and wrapped his arm around her waist as they stood with Diamond. Neither of them noticed Edith standing at the corner of the building. Pale blue eyes watched them intently. When Matthew pulled Mary closer and her laughter could again be heard across the yard Edith's mouth tightened and her eyes hardened as jealousy flared through her system. Just as silently as she had appeared, she stepped back, and out of sight.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary pulled Diamond to a complete stop and smiled at Matthew as he came up alongside her.

"This place is beautiful," he said and smiled at her. "I've never been to this part of the estate before."

"I was not sure if it was a good idea," she said gently and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "I thought it might be too challenging for you."

"The hills? Or that insane jump you took over the stream?" he asked and his eyes narrowed playfully.

"Precisely! And please, that little jump is hardly dangerous. I have jumped over there since I was ten years old."

Matthew shook his head and smiled at her. "I guess that I am a little protective of you. This is our first time riding out together. Of course I know that you're a good rider, but it is still a little disconcerting to watch you engage in dangerous things."

Mary just looked at him for a long moment. Matthew had been genuinely worried about her. She held out her hand to him and he took it without hesitation.

"That was a very nice thing to say," she said in a soft voice. "You have surprised me several times today, Matthew."

"I have?" he said and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "In a good way, I would hope."

"Oh, definitely," she said and smiled. "You were nice to my horse, showing no jealousy even though he was not so gracious," she teased. "You are a far better rider than I thought you would be."

"Why thank you," he said and laughed, playfully pulling at her fingers.

"And you just showed honest concern for my wellbeing. You are certainly progressing fine in the husband department, Mr. Crawley."

Matthew let out a loud laugh and shook his head. "Oh Mary."

"If I promise you that I have never fallen off my horse while jumping any of the ones I have planned for our return, will you come with me? And not worry about me?"

He looked at her, noticing the honesty in her eyes and the giddy anticipation of the thrill. He nodded and her smile widened.

"Of course I will," he said fondly. "Though I make no promise not to worry. It is a husband's prerogative to worry about his wife."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Lord Grantham was standing in the yard talking to Lynch when they returned. He looked up at the sound of horses approaching and smiled when he spotted Mary and Matthew. Noticing the smile on Mary's lips and her rosy cheeks he sighed as it warmed his heart to see her happy. Turning his eyes on Matthew, Robert caught a look of such utter devotion on Matthew's handsome features, it almost made him laugh. Matthew chuckled at something Mary said and Robert could see the fondness in his eyes. Mary might not know it yet, he mused, but she did marry a good man.

Finally spotting him Mary smiled and waved to him. He remained in place watching Matthew help Mary down. Robert hid a smile when Matthew held Mary for a moment longer than what was absolutely necessary.

"Papa," Mary said as the two walked over to greet him. "What brings you down here?"

"One of the horses has gone lame. I wanted to check on his recovery."

"I see," she said and looked at the silver horse behind her father. "He always was your favorite so I can see why you're making such fuss," she teased her father as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Isis sniffed Matthew's shoes and trousers and waggled her tail when he petted her head. She sat down next to him, her tongue lolling out looking almost as if she was smiling.

"Are you about to steal my dog too?" Robert teased Matthew.

"What? No! I mean…" Matthew stuttered and stopped stroking Isis head. She looked up at him and made a soft barking noise voicing her objection to him ending the scratching behind her ears.

Robert squeezed Matthew's shoulder and grinned at him. "Relax Matthew, I was only joking."

"Of course," Matthew said and let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you coming up for tea?" Robert asked and looked at them with eager anticipation.

"I fear not, Papa," Mary said quickly and smiled apologetically. "I think we need baths more than anything. Granny would have a fit if she saw us like this."

Robert chuckled and nodded. "I guess you're right. It was lovely to see you. Do come up for dinner soon. Your mother and I miss you both very much."

"We will," Matthew promised.

Robert watched as Matthew offered his arm to Mary and the two strolled down towards the village. The sound of Mary's laughter warmed his heart and he stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Come on Isis, old girl. Let's go home."

The dog trotted happily next to him as the two made their way towards Downton.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

That evening when Matthew slipped into bed with her, Mary turned to him and kissed his cheek.

"Good night, Matthew," she said softly and put her head down on his shoulder. "Thank you for a lovely day."

Matthew smiled and gently took her hand. Bringing it to his lips he kissed her knuckles before curling his fingers around hers on his chest.

"Good night, my darling."

He watched her for a long time as she slept in his arms. Her dark eyelashes rested against her pale cheeks, and her lips were curled up in an almost smile. Her breathing, now even in sleep, had synchronized with his own. He cherished the feel of the tiny breath of air from between her lips that ghosted over his hand.

"I am so very lucky," he whispered. Mary stirred, but his words did not wake her.

Certain that she was asleep, Matthew told her all the things he was afraid of saying to her in the light of day. He whispered his words of endearment and affection, letting her know that he loved her. He spoke of his fears and joy of being her husband. And lastly he told her about the one thing that he was yet uncertain if he would ever have, a child that looked just like her.

…

To be continued in **Chapter 4** where Mary opens up to Carson. His belief in Matthew's love for her has Mary thinking. Carson has never lied to her. Perhaps Carson is the only one who can get through to her? As Mary warms up to Matthew and learns to trust him, their relationship slowly changes. Chapter 4 will dip into the _Mature_ rating as our newlyweds become a bit closer and a little naughtier ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Rating:** Mature (some explicit)

**Mature Language Note:** This is a love story, and it makes use of real sexual words, not crude porn language or childish words. You will see words such as _penis_ and _clitoris_ in this story, though also older references such as _manhood_. If this type of language upsets you, then I assume that you're either not mature enough to engage in activities involving them, or that you have some hang-ups that makes me question if you should read Mature rated stories. These words are as beautiful as the actual body parts and should be treated with the same respect and awe. That's my opinion, and that is my feeling behind using them in the story.

You will also see a contemporary slang word for a woman's sex – _quim_. This word became popular much due to the increased interest in Egypt around this time and the fact that many aristocrats visited Egypt.

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Mary and Matthew are getting to know each other better. As their friendship reestablished itself Mary is reminded of all the things about Matthew that she likes. Through this transition she comes to terms with that she is in fact in love with him, only to find new despair in the fact that she is not certain that she has his love, only his friendship and affection. During a slight panic attack at this discovery Mary opens up to one of the few people she truly trusts and she slowly starts to question her assumptions about Matthew's love for her.

Middle of the night strange dreams and musings lead to new discoveries of a more intimate nature as they take their first steps towards becoming lovers.

Note: I know the first few chapters are a bit angsty. I feel that this Lady Mary does not trust easily. As much as she says that love is not important to her, it really is. Stay with them and believe in them and I promise that it will happen for them.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you for reviews and comments. The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!). Love it, love it! Please feel free to drop me a line._

…

*** Please note that the **RATING** has changed to **MATURE** ***

…

…

**Chapter 4**

Mary sat in the library at Downton staring out into the gloomy day. It had been raining for days and she was frankly tired of it, even though she recognized that it was sort of fitting for her situation.

The house was quiet; her mother had not been feeling well and was lying down. Matthew, of course, was at work which was part of the reason why she was at the estate. Her father and Granny were in London, the former on business, the latter to visit Aunt Rosamund.

She sighed and returned to her book. Ten minutes later she put the book on the side table and got up. She glanced at the fire and noted that it was starting to fade a little. She contemplated ringing for someone to tend to it, but then changed her mind and left the room.

Mary strolled through the grand hallway and continued upstairs where she paid a visit to her old bedroom. It looked pretty much the same as it always had, with the exception that most of her personal belongings had been removed. The fire was not lit and she shivered a little in the cool room. Slowly turning around she finally accepted that her ties to this room had been forever severed. Suddenly feeling a deep fear and dread creep over her she ran from the room and hurried down the hallway. She kept walking without a goal until she ran into a large, solid body.

"Lady Mary! What on earth are you doing here?"

"Oh, I am so sorry, Carson," Mary said and looked away. "I fear that I was not looking where I was going."

"Is something the matter?" he asked, noticing her strange behavior.

"Nothing new I'm afraid," she said and sighed. "I'm a lost cause, Carson. Pay no attention to me."

Mr. Carson's heart went out to her. In that moment she was again that little girl who had showed up in his office asking for some of the silver, only this time she appeared to have resigned to the fact that running away would not actually solve anything. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and she hiccupped, clearly fighting tears. With a gentle, but firm hand around her shoulders he steered her towards his office.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary dabbed at her eyes and smiled at Carson when he handed her a glass of port. It was of course extremely inappropriate to have at this hour, but she gladly accepted it.

"Now, Lady Mary, I think you need to let out what is bothering you," he said gently and smiled down at her. "I do not have to worry about the silver disappearing, do I?" he teased and his mouth turned up in a half smile.

Mary chuckled and it turned into a sob. "Oh, Carson, I am just so sad," she whispered. "I have known for a very long time that I would not marry for love. Still, the reality of it hurts. It hurts something terrible."

Carson rested his hand on her shoulder, waiting for her to continue. When she did not, he sighed sadly.

"Perhaps Mr. Crawley married you to please the family, but there is no doubt in my mind Lady Mary, that he loves you. He is an honorable man, Mr. Crawley and he is very lucky to have your love, if I may say so, milady."

Mary shook her head and turned her dark, sad eyes on the old butler. "For once you are wrong, Carson. Matthew doesn't love me. He even told me so. And even if I did love him, which I cannot possibly, he couldn't care less about the matter."

Carson cupped her chin, something that he was very aware that he was the only member of the staff she would allow to do so. "Perhaps he told you that, but it is not what is in his heart."

"I wish I could believe you," Mary said and sighed. "I really do."

"What did he say?" Carson said gently.

"He said he felt affection for me, and that he is very fond of me." She sighed in frustration. "That is not the same as loving me."

Carson squeezed her shoulder and she looked up at him. He smiled at her and her defenses crumbled. She covered her face and cried. He gently grabbed her elbows and pulled her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried harder. He rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. When she finally stopped crying, he pulled away and handed her a clean handkerchief.

"Believe me, Lady Mary. Mr. Crawley does love you. In fact I am pretty sure that he loves you very, very much."

Mary smiled and nodded, wiping her eyes and nose. "Thank you, Carson."

"Any time, milady."

She smiled and nodded.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary was dreaming about Matthew. She smiled in her sleep and mumbled his name. He was chasing her on the lawn outside Downton. The grass was soft under her feet and she laughed as she tried to avoid getting caught. When he eventually did catch up with her he wrapped his arms around her and together they twirled around. Her arms were around his neck and she kissed him as his prize for catching her. The kiss deepened and they sank down in the grass together, legs intertwined, hands roaming. She whimpered softly as if he had really touched her.

Mary woke up and gasped for air. She sat up in bed and looked at Matthew. He was asleep next to her. She sighed in relief and hung her head. Her body was still trembling from the intensity of the dream. To her knowledge she had never ever dreamt about him making love to her.

She eased back down and studied him for a long moment. He was a handsome man; there was no doubt about it. At least she had not been married off to some ghastly old man with warts and a humpback. She clapped her hand over her mouth, choking back the laughter that bubbled up at the thought of Matthew like that. Matthew stirred and pushed the sheet down. He had taken to sleeping only in his pajama bottoms since the summer nights were quite warm. Mary watched his chest rise and fall evenly in sleep. His arms and shoulders were muscular. For some reason this surprised her. She tentatively put her hand on his shoulder and stroked down over his bicep all the way down to his hand. She bit her lip when she felt a muscle move and stilled her hand, wondering if she had woken him.

Certain that he was asleep, Mary inched closer to him. She ran her fingertips over his chest, mapping muscles and old scars. He sighed and stirred and kicked off the sheet. She bit her lip, preventing a giggle, when his foot came to rest on top of the sheet. His other leg was bent at the knee, pointing in her direction. She kept stroking him. A low moan indicated that he enjoyed the touch. Intrigued with his reaction Mary kept touching him. She ran the tip of her finger around his bellybutton and he moaned again. Noticing for the first time the blond hairs right below his navel she traced it down to the edge of his thin cotton summer pajamas. She frowned when they seemed to tent up. Had she unknowingly pulled them, or had he moved without her noticing? She tugged a little to smooth out his pants. To her surprise the fabric did not come down, instead it outlined his manhood, making it very obvious what effect her touch had had on him. Mary rested her hand on his stomach just staring at him. She jumped when she felt Matthew's hand stroke over hers. She turned her head and met his blue eyes. He was awake.

"Matthew," she gasped.

"Yes?"

He kept stroking her hand, and just smiled at her. She tried to move away, but he sat up, taking her other hand.

"I am sorry that I woke you," she whispered.

"I am not," he said and touched her chin, tilting her head up. Mary blushed and nodded. "It is alright if you are curious," he said.

"What?" She followed his gaze and blushed more. "Oh."

"If you want to see me, that's fine too."

"I fear that if I do I will not be able to share a bed with you," she said nervously.

"Just looking at it will not hurt you," he teased and pulled her to him. He kissed her forehead.

Matthew tugged at his pajama bottoms and they slid down his legs. He kicked them away and then leaned back against the pillows, with Mary in his arms. Mary's hand trembled a little against his chest, but otherwise she did not react.

"Is that normal?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"To be like that," she said flustered and gestured to his erect penis.

"It is when I am aroused," he said and smiled at her. "When I am not, it is just soft and relaxed."

"I see," she said seriously. "Did I cause this?"

He chuckled and nodded. "Waking up to the gentle touch of your hand was very enjoyable, my darling."

"I just cannot see how that can fit anywhere inside me," she whispered.

"It will."

"At least one of us is certain," she said stiffly.

"Mary," he said softly. "When that happens, your body will be ready for it. You will want it to happen. Even if it might hurt you a little right in the beginning it will be worth it for you."

"Honestly, Matthew, it doesn't look like it would hurt me _a little_. I fear it will tear me apart."

"I promise to be as gentle as possible," he said and kissed her temple.

She pressed closer to him and he took that as encouragement. With gentle fingers he tilted her face up and kissed her. To his delight she returned the kiss.

"Do you wish to be intimate with me?" she whispered.

Matthew could feel her body go rigid in his arms and he caressed her cheek.

"I do, but we will not. I would like to touch you and make you feel comfortable and good. Would that be alright?"

"I guess," she said. "How long will it stay like that?"

Matthew grinned, amused at how interested she was in his manhood. "Until I either reach my peak and emit, or if the passion simmers, then it will just become soft again."

"Perhaps if I see it more, that I will get more comfortable with the idea," she said softly.

"Touch it," Matthew said and stroked her cheek.

"What? I cannot do that!"

"Of course you can. I am your husband. You have every right to touch me. It makes me feel good if you touch me."

"How?" she whispered.

He took her hand and slowly wrapped her fingers around him. She gasped and stared at their joined hands around him.

"It is just as warm as your body," she said in surprise.

Matthew smiled and moved her fingers over him. "It feels good for a man when you touch his manhood like this."

Mary nodded and kept moving her hand over him. After a moment he stopped her and took her hand.

"Did I do it wrong?" she asked confused.

"Not at all, quite the opposite. If you keep doing that I would emit in your hand."

"Oh," Mary said and blushed. "I did not realize."

"Your touch is very nice, darling. Remember that."

She smiled and nodded. Her eyebrows shot up when he lowered her to the bed.

"I thought you said that you would not…" she said.

"I did, and you have my word. I am not going to force myself on you. Not tonight, not ever."

"I know."

"I would like to touch you. May I?"

"Where?" she asked and looked up at him.

"Your breasts, your legs, and if you allow it, you pretty little _quim_."

"But you said you would not hurt me," she said alarmed.

"I promise that I won't. If I do, you must tell me."

She nodded. She watched in silence as he pulled at her nightgown, revealing more and more of her legs. She held her breath as the edge came closer and closer to her womanhood.

"Breathe, darling," he whispered against her temple.

Mary took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her body trembling a little. To her relief he stopped just below her womanhood, leaving her covered. She jumped when he touched her thigh. He smiled at her and stroked up and down her thigh. She sighed and relaxed again.

"Does it feel good?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Matthew pressed a little against the inside of her knee, making her open her legs more. She took a shaky breath as his palm moved up the inside of her thigh. She stared down at his hand and let out a deep breath when he moved down the other leg.

"Open the top of your nightgown," he said and smiled at her. "Let me see your beautiful breasts."

Mary blushed and pressed her lips together as she pulled at the silk ribbon that held it together. She unbuttoned first one, then two buttons until the bodice was completely open about an inch between her breasts. He sucked in air through his nose and his hand squeezed her thigh. She gasped and stared up at him. He smiled and leaned down and kissed her. Mary wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. If his lips were against hers, he could not see anything else, she reasoned.

Matthew stroked over her hip and across her stomach, pulling the silky nightgown up higher. Unable to push it over her breasts he moved a little so he could fold the bodice aside. Very gently so he would not hurt or scare her he brushed his fingers over her breast. She froze. He moved away and smiled at her.

"It did not hurt, did it?"

She shook her head. "No, your touch is very gentle."

"Do you like it?"

"It feels quite nice, yes," she said shyly, clearly uncomfortable admitting it.

"Your breasts feel wonderful, darling," he said and kissed her again.

Mary sighed against his lips, momentarily distracted by the kiss. She gasped when he cupped her breast and rolled the nipple between his fingers. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, stroking his tongue against hers. She let out a high-pitched whimper when he tweaked the nipple a little and he kissed her cheek.

"Did that feel good?"

"Oh yes," she gasped.

He placed hot kisses on her neck all the while playing with her breast and nipple. Mary felt hot and flustered. Her skin burned where he had touched her. She trembled, fearful of these new feelings inside her. She wanted him to talk to her, explain what was happening. Then she felt his lips close around her other nipple, sucking gently, stroking over the nipple with his tongue.

"Dear God!" she cried out.

Matthew licked and sucked on the rosy peak. Her breasts were perfect little firm mounds. He placed kisses all over them, rubbing the nipples with his thumbs as he kissed the side. He could feel her heart pounding inside her chest when he pressed his lips against her. He leaned on his elbow and watched her face as he slipped his hand between her legs, cupping her sex. Her eyes opened and she stared wild-eyed at him. He smiled at her.

"I can feel your warm essence," he said and grinned. She blushed and looked away. "It is a good thing, my darling. It means that you enjoy my touch, that your body is getting aroused."

"So my body is betraying me," she muttered.

Matthew chuckled. "If you tell me that you do not want my touch and that I should stop, I will do so this very instance."

Mary looked at him, searching for something in his eyes. They were so very blue, and for once he looked really happy. She smiled and shook her head.

"I do not wish for you to do that. I want to learn how to be a good wife, in every aspect."

Her words felt like a knife in his gut, but he forced back his sarcastic response. She was nervous, and these feelings were unfamiliar to her. Determined to be patient and not stir things up further, he instead focused on her pleasure. Very gently, he carefully opened her folds and stroked over her. She gasped and grabbed his arm.

"Matthew!" Her eyes were wild and she trembled.

"That, my darling, is your secret spot, the center of your pleasure. I know it is sensitive, so I will be very gentle. It should feel good when I touch it. Did it?"

She nodded vigorously. "I felt it in my entire body," she whispered.

"Eventually it will feel like something is ready to burst inside you. It means that you are close to release. It will not hurt you at all. I've been told that it can be very intense for a woman. Don't be afraid, the goal is to spend in a most delightful way."

She nodded even though she did not quite understand all he was saying. She closed her eyes and sighed softly as he kept stroking between her legs. She smiled and tangled her fingers in his hair when he took her nipple in his mouth again. When he changed his touch to circle that sensitive spot her hips bucked up and she blushed, embarrassed at behaving in such a way. She cried out softly when he tugged a little at her nipple with his teeth.

"Matthew," she whimpered.

He kissed her and brushed his thumb over her clitoris, dipping his finger inside her just a little, but being very careful not to go too far and hurting her in the process. She gasped and whimpered loudly as her body tensed in pre-release. Once she peaked she cried out and bucked under him. She was stunning. Removing his hand from her sex he pulled her close and held her as little trembles went through her body. He kissed her forehead and her eyes, waiting for her to recover from her orgasm.

"What did you do to me?" she whispered.

"I made you spend, my darling. I think you enjoyed it."

"I did. It was almost painfully intense," she said and looked up at him. "Thank you."

He smiled and kissed her. "My pleasure."

"Can I make you spend?" she asked shyly.

"You certainly can, but not now. Just close your eyes and relax, enjoy the feeling."

She smiled at him and soon she was asleep in his arms. Matthew contemplated stroking himself to release, but opted not to.

…

_It seems as if Mary's leap of faith, based on Carson's words in regards to Matthew's feelings for her, has paid off. In __**Chapter 5**__, Matthew continues to be patient with Mary. As most young men in love, he embarks on a mission to make her happy. Will he be able to break down her defenses and eventually convince her of his love? _


	5. Chapter 5

**Rating:** Mature (some explicit)

**Mature Language Note:** This is a love story, and it makes use of real sexual words, not crude porn language or childish words. You will see words such as _penis_ and _clitoris_ in this story, though also older references such as _manhood_. If this type of language upsets you, then I assume that you're either not mature enough to engage in activities involving them, or that you have some hang-ups that makes me question if you should read Mature rated stories. These words are as beautiful as the actual body parts and should be treated with the same respect and awe. That's my opinion, and that is my feeling behind using them in the story.

You will also see a contemporary slang word for a woman's sex – _quim_. This word became popular much due to the increased interest in Egypt around this time and the fact that many aristocrats visited Egypt.

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Matthew watched his wife for a moment as she dipped her spoon into the dessert and then closed her lips around it. Her eyes fluttered a little as she savored the flavor. He had to look away then as the sight stirred feelings inside him he was not sure how to handle at the moment. He knew he wanted her more than anything, but the time was not right. With a soft sigh Matthew vowed silently to continue to be patient with her.

**Note:** I know the first few chapters are a bit angsty. I feel that this Lady Mary does not trust easily. As much as she says that love is not important to her, it really is. Stay with them and believe in them and I promise that it will happen for them.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you for reviews and comments. The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!). Love it, love it! Please feel free to drop me a line._

…

*** Please note that the **RATING** has changed to **MATURE** ***

…

…

**Chapter 5**

When Mary woke the next morning it was to find Matthew smiling down at her. She blushed when she realized that even though not exactly naked, her private area and her right breast were uncovered. She reached to pull down her nightgown, but his hand on hers stopped her.

"You are so beautiful. Please don't cover yourself."

She nodded; eyeing him warily, wondering what he would do next. Her eyes fluttered shut when he touched her breasts. She sighed when he sucked and licked her nipples for a moment before lying down next to her. She turned onto her side, resting her hand on his chest.

"Tell me about it. Tell me why a man wants to be inside a woman."

Matthew swallowed and cleared his throat a little nervously. "It feels very good." He took her hand and moved it down to her sex, stroking her index finger over her damp folds. "See how warm and soft you are?"

"Matthew!" she gasped. "This does not seem proper at all."

"Of course it is. No part of your body is shameful." He stroked gently between her legs. "When I am inside you, you will slide over me like you did with your hand only that it is warm and slippery. As you near your peak your body will squeeze me, which feels very good. To be connected, joined in that most intimate of ways, knowing that you are sharing something so precious is beyond wonderful. I promise you."

Mary swallowed. "It sounds like you enjoy it."

"I do. And I know that with you it will be unlike it has ever been before. It will be absolutely wonderful." He caressed her cheek and her lips before continuing. "To enhance your pleasure, you can wrap your legs around me or raise your knees on the bed, whichever feels most rewarding for you. You can ask me to go faster or slower with the touch of your hands and legs. We will learn these things together."

His gentle smile made her stomach flutter and Mary wondered what was happening to her. When had she become so used to him? Why had she let him touch her like this? She was even comfortable being almost naked in his arms.

"But it will also hurt," she said in a small voice.

"Only for a brief moment in the beginning," he said and smiled at her. "At least that's what I have been told."

"I am afraid," she finally admitted. She looked away, ashamed at acknowledging it.

"I know. We will take it one step at the time. Right now I think we should probably get up before Anna comes in here seeing us like this. I fear that I might give her quite a scare."

Mary giggled and nodded. She glanced down at his penis. "It looks different now. Smaller."

"When I am not aroused it is significantly smaller," he explained.

"Oh."

He could tell that she was considering this. "I have to be aroused and it needs to be firm in order to be able to enter you."

"I thought you might say that," she said with a sigh.

He held his breath as she reached for him and ran her finger up the side of him. She giggled when his manhood twitched. She changed and used all her fingertips on him, still keeping her touch feather light. He groaned in pleasure.

"Mary, please. It feels wonderful, but if you keep it up I will spend."

"And you do not wish to?"

"Of course I do, but I don't want to frighten you."

"Why would it frighten me, unless you're thinking of putting it inside me?"

"Of course not. It's just that when a man spends, his manhood will emit his essence, his seed. It can be quite messy as it shoots out."

"Like a little volcano," she said and giggled.

Matthew rolled his eyes at her and she giggled more. "If you really do want it to happen then touch me like you did before."

Mary blushed furiously as she wrapped her fingers around his stiff manhood and stroked slowly up and down. It slipped easily against her skin.

"Oh God, Mary," he groaned. "Faster," he gasped and gritted his teeth.

Matthew had been on edge since he woke up during the night and he knew that he would not last long. He covered her hand and helped her set the pace, then let go again to allow her to finish him off. He let out a loud groan as he spent over her hand and his legs.

"Most intriguing," Mary whispered when he finally relaxed and shuddered in aftermath of his orgasm.

Matthew burst out laughing and she joined him. He pulled her down against his chest and just held her as they laughed together. She looked up at him and smiled. He pulled her up and kissed her firmly on the lips.

"It pleases me so that we can laugh together, Mary," he said and stroked her cheek. "The woman I am getting to know as my wife is even more incredible than the woman I once courted."

"Oh Matthew," she whispered.

He sat up and used the sheet to wipe himself clean. Mary giggled next to him and he raised an eyebrow in question.

"It shrunk," she said.

He looked down at his limp penis and nodded. It did look kind of pathetic at the moment. He took her hand and brushed her fingers over it. As expected he felt his manhood stir.

"Not for long. You hold the key, my darling. Your touch can make magic happen."

Mary just stared at him. "That was a very nice thing to say, Matthew," she said seriously.

"Surely you must know by now how your touch and presence affects me?"

"Perhaps," she said and looked away.

Before he could ask more about it she jumped out of bed buttoning her nightgown as she walked to the mirror. She poured a little water into the basin and washed her hands and face. Matthew sighed and pulled on his pajamas before kissing her one last time. He saw her ring for Anna as he closed the door.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew leisurely strolled down the street in Ripon. It was a beautiful day and he had taken the opportunity to go for a short walk during his lunch break. He smiled as he caught himself wishing that Mary was with him. It seemed as if they had overcome a huge obstacle over night. Things were far from perfect, he mused, but they were moving along in the right direction.

His walk took him past a few shops. He stopped and looked at the display in one of his favorite shops. Something caught his attention and he made a quick decision. With a determined step he entered the dark store and approached the clerk.

Small package in hand, Matthew appeared on the street again a few minutes later. The bounce was back in his step as he hurried back to the office, counting the hours until he could leave.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

When Mary sat down for dinner that evening she spotted something next to her place setting. She looked up at Matthew and her eyebrow arched up. He chuckled at the look on her face.

"Matthew, what might this be?"

"Why do you not open it?" he said trying to hold back his eager anticipation. Only the twinkle in his eyes belayed his eagerness to see her reaction.

"It better not be one of those ghastly books on how to be a good wife," she muttered.

Matthew laughed and shook his head. "I can promise you that I will never buy something horrid like that as a gift for you. You will never need it anyway."

She looked up at him then, her fingers still on the wrapping. To his surprise he saw tears in her eyes. He reached out and caressed her cheek.

"Oh Matthew," she whispered.

"I am so sorry, my darling. I never meant to make you cry."

"Pay no attention to me," she said and smiled weakly at him. "I have told you that before."

"And you're wrong, Mary. I will spend the rest of my life paying attention to you."

Mary swallowed and looked at him. His eyes were so very blue, and filled with complete honesty. She nodded and then looked down at the package. She finished opening it and held it up.

"Wells," she said cheerfully as she read the author name and book title.

"You said that you liked him, and I want you to know that you can read whatever you like. I don't care what other people say, Mary. I want you to read and do whatever makes you happy."

Mary held out her hand to him, her eyes again filled with tears. "You are so good to me," she whispered.

"You are my wife," he said and squeezed her hand. "I am very fond of you, and very proud."

She smiled and nodded. Before she could answer him Moseley entered the room with the first course. The moment had passed and they eased into their regular comfortable dinner conversation topics sharing their day and events in the village.

Matthew watched her for a moment as she dipped her spoon into the dessert and then closed her lips around it. Her eyes fluttered a little as she savored the flavor. He had to look away then as the sight stirred feelings inside him he was not sure how to handle at the moment. He knew he wanted her more than anything, but the time was not right. With a soft sigh Matthew vowed silently to be patient with her. When she looked up at him he just smiled at her before tasting the dessert.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary was reading in bed when he entered the bedroom that night. She smiled up at him. He hung up his robe and then slipped off his shirt. Glancing at her he tugged down his pants and stepped out of them before sliding under the sheet.

"Matthew?" she said a little hesitant, and put her book down.

He turned and smiled at her. "If you slept next to me like this half of the night last night, perhaps you would consider it tonight?"

She smiled and nodded. "Of course."

He pulled the silk ribbon that held her nightgown together. "Would you consider taking this off? It is a warm night."

She gave him an uncertain look and he could see worry flash in her eyes for a brief second. He shook his head.

"I'm not going to make love to you, so you have nothing to worry about. I would just like to hold you and touch you. You did enjoy my touch last night, did you not?"

"You know I did."

"So?"

Mary put her book on the nightstand and pulled up her nightgown. She eased it over her head and arms, shivering a little when she felt him helping her. She dropped it on the floor next to the bed and leaned back against the pillows again. The sheet only reached mid thigh. Matthew could tell that it made her nervous to be so exposed. He smiled reassuringly at her and caressed her thigh.

"You are so very beautiful."

"Thank you. It pleases me that you find me to your liking."

"Mary, please," he said and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said and turned her head away.

"You don't have to pretend. I only want you to be honest with me. Can you do that? Even if it means admitting that you want me to touch you. That the thought of spending under my hand again thrills you."

She blushed. "How did you know that?"

"Your body tells me that. Your nipples are firmer, your legs moved in invitation when I stroked over your thigh. You are breathing faster too, my darling."

"Yet again I find myself being betrayed by my own body. Who would ever have guessed?" she said with a dramatic sigh.

Matthew laughed and pulled her close. She joined him, her arm circling his waist. She froze when she felt his stiff manhood against her stomach.

"Don't be afraid of it, darling. We'll agree together when it will happen. It will not be an accident. I promise."

"I don't know why I worry so much. Perhaps you should just do it so we get it over and done with?"

"That would not be right to you," he said and caressed her cheek. "When we make love I want you to enjoy it and want it too. I truly want it to be an act of love."

"What if I never do?" she said very softly.

"We can worry about that if it were to happen. I highly doubt it. You spent quite happily last night."

Mary blushed and nodded. "It was a most interesting experience."

"May I touch you? Would you like another blissful spend?"

She laughed nervously and finally nodded. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, I do."

He rolled her over and kissed her. She held him close and smiled against his lips. For the first time she felt completely at ease with him. She ran her hands down his back and stroked over his buttocks. He looked at her, shocked at the boldness of her touch. Her hands stilled and she started to remove them thinking that she had done something wrong.

"No, don't," he said and smiled. "I was just surprised at your touch. It feels wonderful."

She smiled and stroked over his behind again. Matthew dipped his head and licked and sucked her nipples into hard little peaks. Twirling the nipples he planted kisses across her stomach, dipping into her navel which caused her to laugh, and then kissed the top of her mound.

"Matthew," she gasped.

He ran his hands down her sides and stroked her stomach, then gently pushed her legs apart. Reaching under her he cupped her soft buttocks and raised her up until he could stroke the entire length of her sex with his tongue. She cried out and shook at the touch.

"What are you doing?" she said, her voice trembling.

"Tasting your essence, my darling. What do you think? Was it enjoyable?"

"It felt wonderful," she whispered. "Absolutely wonderful."

He grinned and eased her down. Stroking up and down the back of her thighs he pushed her legs up, opening her more. He had seen a woman's private parts before of course. Not that many, but it was not unfamiliar territory for him. Still the sight of Mary had him stunned. Her pink folds were as delicate and beautiful as she. The hair that covered her womanhood was dark and it framed its treasure perfectly.

"Oh Mary," he said, his breath so close to her center she could feel it.

Matthew watched in awe as her muscles contracted at the feel of his breath. He stroked his tongue over her again, very gently. She whimpered and sighed. He licked her clitoris, causing a sob and a gasp from Mary. Easing off, he circled her opening with his thumb feeling new wetness. He dipped his tongue a little inside her and tasted more of her. She was trembling and gripping the sheet. Matthew eased her legs further apart and sucked her little spot into his mouth. She yelled and shook. Feeling her teetering on the edge he flicked his tongue faster as he kept his lips firmly against her.

"God!" she cried out and whimpered and trembled as her body shook in release.

Matthew felt her fingers in his hair tugging, pulling his face against her. She gasped for air when he sank down on the bed next to her. She pressed her face against his chest and held him tightly. He rubbed her back and buttocks. When she did not let go of him he rolled onto his back with her on top.

"Just relax," he whispered and kissed her forehead. "Enjoy the feeling."

She raised her head and kissed him firmly. Her eyes widened when she tasted herself on him.

"I guess it is not as bad as I thought," she said and kissed him again.

Matthew pulled her closer. "Your taste is wonderful."

Mary giggled and her cheeks turned pink. "Matthew," she said and rolled her eyes.

"I love the taste of my wife," he said louder and she laughed and wacked him on the shoulder. "Am I not allowed to say that? I love every part of her, from her pretty little toes, to her dark soulful eyes and silky hair. I love you, Lady Mary Crawley."

Mary became very still on top of him and he wondered if he had said something wrong. He touched her cheek.

"Did you mean that?" she whispered.

"Of course I did!"

"You really do love me?" she said in a small voice, and her voice broke.

He cupped her cheek. "I do. I have loved you since before I first asked you to marry me in 1912."

She eased off him and sat down on the bed, arms wrapped around her legs, facing away from him. He sat up next to her and gently touched her shoulder. She was crying. Alarmed he moved to face her.

"What is wrong? Please tell me."

"It just never occurred to me that you did," she whispered.

"Oh Mary," he gently pulled her closer and to his sheer delight she came to him. He held her protectively on his lap. "I love you, Mary. You are the most beautiful and wonderful woman I have ever met and I am so blessed to be your husband," he whispered against her hair.

She cried harder and he held her until the tears finally subsided and she took a deep shaky breath to calm herself. He inched down until they were stretched out next to each other. He pulled the sheet over them and tucked her head under his chin.

"Sleep now. We can talk about this tomorrow."

She snuggled closer. Matthew closed his eyes and stroked her hair as he relaxed in sleep. The last thing he heard before Morpheus claimed him was her soft voice whispering the words he had waited for.

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew woke to the feeling of warm sunlight on his face and Mary's soft breath ghosting over his chest. He smiled, absolutely content with his surroundings. Turning his head a little he watched her sleep. Her face was relaxed, her eyelashes fluttering now and then in sleep. She looked like an angel to him. He wondered for a moment if she would remember the words she had spoken so softly in the night. As she stirred, he braced himself for disappointment.

Mary's eyes fluttered and she finally opened them and squinted at him. A small smile formed on her lips.

"Good morning, my darling," he said with a smile.

"Good morning."

Mary struggled to sit up, but he pulled her back against him. She sighed and put her head down again, drawing little patterns on his chest.

"I want to apologize for my hysterics over night," she said seriously. "I can assure you that I do not normally act that way."

"Mary," he said and tilted her head up so he could meet her eyes. "I love you, that hasn't changed. I am so sorry if you didn't feel it before."

"I just assumed that you married me for other reasons," she said in a hollow voice. "I made peace with that I would not marry for love, a long time ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but know that I could not be more proud, or happy to be your husband."

She nodded and leaned into his touch when he caressed her cheek. "I never stopped loving you, you know," she whispered. She looked up at him, her dark eyes sad. "I buried those feelings so deep inside and covered them with anger and resentment. It was never your fault what happened to me, Matthew; how my life was staked out for me since the day I was born, yet I took it out on you. I am so terribly sorry for that. Truly, I am."

"Perhaps we can put it all behind us now, and go forward together, honestly and openly?"

"I think I would really like that," she said and for the first time really smiled at him.

"That makes me very happy."

.

* * *

><p>.<p>

They had gone for a walk after breakfast, before it would get too hot. Strolling across the lawn in front of Downton on Matthew's arm Mary was again reminded of her dream.

"I dreamt about you that night. That's what woke me up."

"Oh?"

"We were right here actually. You were chasing me. I laughed as I tried to avoid getting caught. When you eventually did catch me you swung me around, laughing, so proud of yourself…"

Sensing that she was holding something back he stopped and looked at her. "And?"

"You kissed me before lowering me down on the ground," she said in the softest voice. "And there in the soft grass… you made love to me."

Matthew swallowed hard and pulled her closer. "That sounds like a lovely dream."

"I have never dreamt about you, or anyone for that matter, like that before."

"I think your dress would get ruined should I try it," he mumbled.

She gave him a sharp look, but chuckled when she saw the teasing glint in his eyes.

"Darling, sometimes you are a very bad man."

He just stared at her. She frowned at his reaction. "You have never called me that before," he whispered.

Mary covered her mouth when she realized that she had used an endearment for the first time ever in reference to him. She looked hesitantly at him. His eyes were so blue, and he grinned at her. She smiled and nodded.

"I hope you don't mind. I'm sure that it is bound to happen again."

Matthew laughed and wrapped his arms around her, swinging her around. She grabbed his shoulders and laughed.

Inside the house, Lord Grantham stood by the window watching his daughter and Matthew. He had worried about them ever since she had accepted Matthew. When Matthew swung her around and he saw the happiness on Mary's face he let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps those two would work out after all?

*** L MJC ***

_So Mary and Matthew have finally admitted their feelings for each other and agreed to go forward openly and honestly. Matthew's patience and devotion to Mary seems to be what she really needed in order to embrace her new life. Will she finally be able to accept that she is allowed to feel happy? She has always felt loved by her family, but not necessarily been happy. Is it possible for her to fully accept these feelings? If anyone can make it happen for her, it is Matthew._

_In __**chapter 6**__ Mary goes for a ride on Diamond and meets some of the estate tenants. Getting a 'bee in her bonnet' after her visit, she approaches her father with a request concerning Matthew. Lord Grantham is more than happy to assist his eldest daughter in her secret plans. In the meantime Matthew is busy buying another gift for his wife, eagerly anticipating her surprise and hopefully, delight._


	6. Chapter 6

**Rating:** PG-13 in this chapter (for whipped cream and cake make out)

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Mary goes for a ride on Diamond and meets some of the estate tenants. Getting a 'bee in her bonnet' after her visit, she approaches her father with a request concerning Matthew. Lord Grantham is more than happy to assist his eldest daughter in her secret plans. In the meantime Matthew is busy buying another gift for his wife, eagerly anticipating her surprise and hopefully, delight.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you for reviews and comments. The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!). Love it, love it! Please feel free to drop me a line._

…

*** Please note that the **RATING** has changed to **MATURE** ***

…

…

**Chapter 6**

Feeling cooped up in the stuffy house, Mary decided to go for a ride. Matthew was at work and she was bored. She wished that she was one of those women who enjoyed needlepoint or drawing, but she was much too impatient for such things. With a sigh of delight she settled in the saddle and patted Diamond's neck.

"Shall we, old friend?" she whispered fondly to the horse and nudged him forward.

The feel of warm air against her face and the smells of summer all around her calmed Mary and she found herself smiling with joy. She steered Diamond in the direction of one of her favorite paths, one which led by a small clearing and a stream. Birds were singing and once she saw a rabbit hop away, alerted to their approach by the sound of the horse's hooves.

She watched its little white cotton tail until the rabbit ducked into safety under a bush. Exiting the clearing Mary found herself in a large green field. She could feel Diamond's eagerness to run and it made her laugh.

"I know," she said and patted him. "I feel it too." And with those words she nudged him forward into a fast gallop, laughing at the sheer pleasure of being at one with her horse, and the freedom she felt as the two thundered across the green grass.

* * *

><p>Mary eventually pulled Diamond to an almost stop, only to nudge him forward at a much slower pace. The day was warmer than she had expected and she was starting to get really thirsty. Remembering that there was a farm not too far from where she was, she steered Diamond in that direction.<p>

About ten minutes later the small farmhouse came into full view. She could hear voices and a barking dog. A child laughed and then the dog barked again. Mary smiled to herself at the familiar and happy sounds. She looked around as she and Diamond entered the small yard in front of the barn. A man came out and smiled at her, brushing his hands off on his pants.

"Lady Mary," he said cheerfully. "Tis an honour."

"Mr. Robinson, right?" Mary said and titled her head, smiling at him.

"Aye, m'lady," he said and nodded vigorously.

"I wonder if I might trouble you for something to drink," she said moved to get down.

"Course," he said and stepped closer to her. "Can I help you, m'lady?"

She nodded and put her hands on his shoulders allowing him to help her down. She moved the reins over Diamond's head and pulled his head to her. She looked around for somewhere to tether him. She opened her mouth to ask, when the door to the cottage opened and a blonde woman came outside. She tried to smooth down her hair and straightened her apron as she smiled at Mary.

"Lady Mary, welcome," she said and smiled at Mary. "If I hada known we would be having such fine company today, I woulda tidied up."

Mary smiled at her. "I am sure that your home is as beautiful as your garden, Mrs. Robinson."

Mrs. Robinson blushed and grinned at Mary. "Please m'lady, call me Anne."

"Thank you Anne," Mary said. She turned to Anne's husband again. "Mr. Robinson, would it be possible for my horse to have a drink of water?"

"I'll take good care of him, m'lady," he said and took the reins from Mary.

"Please come inside, Lady Mary," Anne said. "The sun is too hot for yer skin."

Mary nodded and silently followed her inside. She looked around the Robinsons' home noting how clean and neat it was. She complemented Anne on it and her hostess blushed and stuttered a thank you.

"I just made some biscuits. Would you care for some tea, m'lady? It's nutthin' like what you have up at the big house, but perhaps…"

"I would love some," Mary said quickly and removed her gloves.

She watched Anne put on the kettle when she felt a tug at her skirt. She looked down in surprise only to find a small boy standing there. He could not have been more than five or six years old.

"Hello," she said and smiled at him.

"I'm Billy," he said and grinned at her, showing a few missing baby teeth.

"Very nice to meet you, Billy. My name is Mary."

"Yer a Lady, ain't ya?" he asked and his clear blue eyes looked straight at Mary.

"I guess I am," she said and smiled at him.

"Billy, stop botherin' Lady Mary," his mother said sternly.

Billy chewed on his lip and let go of Mary's skirt. She tilted her head waiting for him to say something. Clearly Billy had something on his mind that he wanted to share with her.

"What is it?" she asked softly.

"We've got puppies," he said and grinned at her again. "Do you like puppies, Lady Mary? I think puppies are the best."

Anne rolled her eyes at her son's eager chatter. Mary laughed as their eyes met. She looked down at Billy again and hunched down next to him.

"You know, Billy, I absolutely adore puppies."

"Come on then!" he said and took her hand, pulling her over to the far corner of the sitting room.

There in the corner was a fenced off area where a number of little tan and black puppies were sleeping in a heap. Mary covered her mouth at the sight at them.

"Dear God," she whispered. "They are adorable."

"Told ya," Billy said and grinned.

Mary knelt next to him and gently caressed one of the sleeping puppies. It whimpered in sleep and its little legs moved. She giggled and looked at Billy. He grinned at her and nodded. Mary felt a gentle nudge on her shoulder and she turned her head. There was another dog, a black Labrador by the looks of it.

"That's Bonnie. She's their mum," Billy explained. "She's a nice dog. You don't have to be afraid of her," he added quickly.

"M'lady," his mother added for him and rolled her eyes.

"That's fine Anne," Mary said and smiled at her. "Billy and I are good friends now."

"See, mummy, we're friends," he said and laughed.

Mary ruffled his blond hair and laughed. The dog let out a soft bark, clearly thinking that the humans were behaving very odd. Mary smiled and scratched her head.

"She wants to get in to 'er pups," Billy explained and moved the screen to let the dog in to her puppies.

As soon as the mother was back the puppies woke up and the noise filling the quiet cottage made Mary laugh. She and Billy watched in amusement as the puppies fought to get to their mother to nurse, little chubby bodies and paws waving in the air as they tried to get closer. Mary counted the puppies and her eyebrows arched up when she made out ten puppies, six tan and four black.

"Lady Mary," Anne said softly behind them.

Mary got up and turned around. "They are very sweet," she said and gestured to the puppies.

Anne sighed and nodded. "That they are, but I just wished that there weren't so many of them."

"Why is that?" Mary asked confused as she followed Anne back to the kitchen.

"It is hard to find good homes for ten puppies, m'lady," Anne said and gestured for Mary to step closer to wash her hands. She handed Mary a fresh towel which rewarded her with a smile.

Mary sat down by the wooden table and watched Anne pour the tea. She helped herself to a biscuit and placed it on her plate.

"Thank you," she said when Anne handed her the cup.

Anne poured tea and milk into a large metal cup and stirred it before looking across the room for her son. "Billy, please take this outside to your Pa."

"Yes, mummy," he said and ran over. He picked up the mug and carefully balanced it so he wouldn't spill.

"He's a sweet boy," Mary said and sipped the tea. "You must be very proud."

"I am m'lady," Anne said and smiled. "We had another one, but he died when he was just a babe."

"I'm so sorry," Mary said honestly.

"These things happen, m'lady," Anne said sadly. "It is not for us to question why God decides to call some of us home long 'afore our time."

Mary nodded, for a moment thinking of one of her childhood friends who had died when she was about Billy's age.

"So how many of the puppies have you found homes for?" Mary asked, changing the topic for something happier.

"None, yet. They're still only little 'uns. It will be a few weeks before they are ready to leave their mama."

"Would you consider selling one to me?" Mary asked and reached for another biscuit.

"Of course, m'lady," Anne said and laughed.

"You see, I would like to give my husband a dog. A gentleman needs a dog, would you not agree?" Mary said cheerfully.

Anne nodded and grinned. "Just like yer father. Everyone in the village knows how much his lordship loves that dog."

"Sweet, darling Isis. I sometimes wonder if Mama is jealous," Mary said and smiled mischievously.

Anne covered her mouth as she laughed. "Lady Mary!"

"If it would be all right I'd like to bring my father to help me select the right dog for Matthew."

"Of course."

"All I know is that I would like a female dog," Mary said and smiled. "Male dogs can be a bit pushy."

Anne chuckled and nodded. "I know what ye mean. We have two yellow females and a black un and o' course the runt. She's black too. At first we didn't know if she would make it, but she's a strong little fighter this one. She can hold her own with the others and she's growing fast."

Mary smiled. "That sounds like the right attitude." She put down her napkin and smiled at Anne. "Thank you so much for the tea. It was delightful and I must say those biscuits are absolutely lovely."

"I'm so glad, m'lady."

Mary got up and grabbed her gloves. "Well, I should be getting back. I've been keeping you from your work too long."

Anne huffed and rolled her eyes. "As if peeling potatoes would be more important than having tea with the future mistress of the big house."

Mary chuckled and bowed her head.

Mr. Robinson helped her back on Diamond. The horse was rested and seemed eager to get going. He danced around a little and Mary stroked his neck to calm him.

"Thank you again, both for the tea and for taking care of my horse," she said and smiled at them. She looked at the little boy who was shuffling his feet, hands in his pockets. "And Billy," she said and leaned down. He looked up at her and smiled. "Thank you so much for showing me your puppies."

"'tis nuthin'," he said, but he was clearly pleased by the praise.

"Until next time then," Mary said and nodded at them before nudging Diamond into a trot, heading for Downton.

* * *

><p>Matthew had made his lunch break his time to buy little gifts for Mary. As the minutes ticked by he was getting more and more giddy with anticipation of window shopping for something that she would enjoy. He blushed a little at how besotted it might make him look, still he did not really care. The look on Mary's face when he presented her with his little gifts was the highlight of his day. It had started with the book, then a small sugary treat he knew she was fond of. Sometimes it felt as if the gifts were seeking him out, and not the other way around, such as the flower girl on the street the day prior. She had pushed a handful of pink roses in his face. The scent had almost overwhelmed him. At first he had politely declined, but as he stepped away and got a better look at the flowers his first thought was that they were the color of Mary's lips. He blushed a little at the thought. The girl caught it and lapsed into her clever sales speech. A few minutes later, Matthew was carrying a dozen pale roses, carefully wrapped in an old newspaper. Mary had been delighted and the roses had earned him a sweet kiss from her.<p>

Today it was Friday and he wanted to buy something special for Mary. He knew that she was not expecting it. After that first gift that he had presented her with on the day after their wedding, she had never again accused him of trying to buy her love. As he strolled down the street, Matthew mentally took inventory of books, and sweets, flowers and jewelry. As much as he would like to buy Mary jewelry, he knew that he probably should not. She had a lot already and in any case it was better to wait until her new frocks were done. He had heard her and Anna talking about them, but knew little about them, not even the colors. He had asked, only to be told that he had to wait and see.

Matthew stopped and stared at the contraption in the window. This was it. He glanced at the price tag. It was a bit more than he had planned to spend, but it was just too tempting. Almost trembling with anticipation he entered the store.

* * *

><p>Mary handed Diamond off to Lynch and walked up to the house, hoping to catch her father. She swept into the library and grinned at him.<p>

"Papa! I'm so pleased to find you here."

"Mary?" he said and turned in his chair to get up to greet her. "What are you doing here?"

"I felt that I had been neglecting Diamond so we went for a ride," she said cheerfully and kissed his cheek.

"Alone?" he asked surprised.

"Of course," she said and rolled her eyes. "Papa, I need your help."

"I'm listening," he said and gestured for her to sit down.

Mary leaned forward, eager to share her idea with her father. "I stopped and visited one of the cottages. The Robinsons?"

He nodded. "They are good people. Jim Robinson is very hardworking."

"And the cottage is spotless. His wife is a good woman and she takes such pride in her home," Mary said seriously.

"They have a son… or is it a daughter?" he said and frowned.

"A son, Billy," Mary said quickly. "Very sweet."

Robert smiled, keeping his thoughts to himself. "So I assume that what you want my opinion on is somehow connected with the Robinsons?"

"Yes." She smiled widely. "They have puppies, Papa. Ten of them! Little mini Isis in black and tan," she said and laughed.

Robert grinned. "Oh Mary. Puppies are delightful."

"I thought it would be a great idea to get Matthew a dog. What do you say? Shouldn't the heir to Downton have a dog?"

Robert let out a loud laugh and shook his head. "My darling girl," he said softly. "I think it is a wonderful idea."

"So you will help me? Would you ride out with me and help me pick the right puppy for Matthew? Please Papa, say that you would."

"Of course I will," he said and smiled at her.

Mary laughed and got up. "Well, I need to get home and take a bath before Matthew gets back."

"Mary," he said softly behind her. She turned and raised an eyebrow. "I am so pleased that you and Matthew are getting along so nicely."

"As am I," she said and smiled.

* * *

><p>"Matthew, you really shouldn't," Mary said and sighed, rolling her eyes at him when she saw the box next to her dinner setting.<p>

"Fine, I'll take it back then," he teased and reached for it.

Mary snatched it away from him and her eyes narrowed. "It's not polite to first give a lady a present and then take it back, Mr. Crawley."

Matthew laughed and nodded. "The lady has spoken. Now open it!"

Mary put the gift down. She could tell that he was eager for her to open it. She caressed the beautiful silk bow and gently picked up the box again. It was a little heavy she noticed and her curiosity peaked. Putting it down she reached for the ribbons, but then let her hands fall down in her lap.

"I think I'll wait until after dinner," she said and instead neatly placed her napkin in her lap, smiling angelically at him. "Unless my husband does not approve, of course."

Matthew made a face. He knew she was playing with him. "He does not, but since he is a gentleman, he would never tell you that."

Mary laughed and shook her head. "You do make me laugh Matthew."

"So I am getting better, last time I made you cry," he pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

"Happy tears, Matthew," she corrected softly. "Now let's eat before it gets cold. I have a present to open once we're done."

Matthew chuckled and picked up his fork.

* * *

><p>The dinner had been delicious. Matthew was pleased to see Mary enjoying herself. It always bothered him when women did not eat at dinner events. Feeling her eyes on him he looked up. She was sitting eyeing his dessert. Her plate was almost impeccably clean.<p>

"Did you enjoy the cake?" he asked and took another small bite.

Mary folded her hands in her lap and nodded. "I did." He put his fork down and smiled at her. "Are you going to finish it?" she asked, and he could tell that she wanted his last few bites.

"I believe I will. It really is wonderful."

"That it is," she agreed.

Matthew scooped another bite onto his fork and raised it to his lips. She was watching him and it almost made him laugh. At the last minute he changed his mind and instead held out his fork for her, waving it enticingly in front of her lips.

"Open up," he whispered.

Mary blushed and leaned forward, allowing him to feed her. She would never have dared to do something as intimate as that had they not been alone. She licked her lip where a crumble lingered and looked up when he chuckled.

"Another bite, darling?" She nodded and this time leaned forward in eager anticipation as he held up the fork.

Matthew watched her lips close around the fork and again felt the stir of passion. A little cream lingered on her lip and unable to stop himself he leaned forward and kissed her, wiping it away with his tongue. Mary gasped and her hand flew to his neck, and then slid into his hair as he deepened the kiss. When he eventually let go of her and sat down again she was breathing heavier and the blush on her cheeks had intensified. He got up and offered her his hand.

"Shall we go through? You still have a gift to open."

Mary cleared her throat and nodded. "Yes, of course."

He picked up the gift and together they continued to the drawing room.

* * *

><p>Mary frowned as she held the metal and leather square in her hands. She turned it over. She noticed the brand Kodak on it, but it did not mean much to her. She looked at Matthew for an explanation. He held out his hand and she handed it to him. She gasped when he pressed a button she had missed and the front opened and the inside popped out.<p>

"Matthew!" she gasped and covered her mouth. "A camera?" she whispered in awe.

He nodded enthusiastically. "It is yours, but perhaps you will allow me to borrow it from time to time to take a picture of you?"

She nodded and reached out to touch it, almost afraid to. "I have never seen one like this. Do you know how to use it?"

"I do. I will show you. Perhaps we can try taking some pictures this weekend?"

She smiled at him. "Thank you. It is a wonderful gift. You really shouldn't, Matthew. I am sure it was quite expensive."

"I have told you before, it doesn't matter. Besides, on Monday you will get a sugary treat from the bakery. I'm out of pocket until next payday."

She laughed and nodded. "Oh Matthew," she said fondly. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss. "You do make me happy."

Matthew wrapped his free arm around her and pulled her closer. He handed her the camera and started to explain it to her. Mary asked a few questions and then took the camera from him. She got up and stepped away from him.

"It only seems fitting that my first picture should be of my husband," she said and smiled. He laughed. "Now do sit still Matthew. You're squirming like a small child." He laughed again but stopped when he saw her stern look.

Mary gave orders like an army general, telling Matthew to move to the right and the left, backwards and forwards, until he was posed exactly the way she wanted. Finally she pressed the button and the camera buzzed as Mary took her first ever picture. She cheered and grinned at Matthew.

"I did it. I so wish that we could see it right away."

"If you finish all of it, I will take the film to Ripon to have the pictures developed on Monday."

She nodded and sat down next to him again cradling the camera on her lap. "This is so much fun."

Matthew chuckled and pulled her close. She rested her head on his shoulder and they just sat, enjoying each other's company.

*** L MJC ***

_So both Mary and Matthew are trying to express their love for each other with caring thoughts and special gifts. Has Matthew's love brought forth Mary's caring side? Is she really getting a puppy for Matthew? How will that turn out? Will he name it O'Brien? Stay with us and you'll find out eventually._

_In __**chapter 7**__ things will possibly heat up. Is Mary finally ready to be intimate with Matthew? What will happen if, and once they do take the final step? Definitely Mature rating for the next chapter_ :)


	7. Chapter 7

**This site has been acting up a lot today. Some of you have been able to access Chapter 7, but some of you haven't. Hopefully since you're reading this that you're all set now! :)**

**Appologies for the delay and annoyance. Hope it was worth the wait ;)**

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**Rating:** Mature (this chapter is **very explicit**)

**Mature Language Note:** This is a love story, and it makes use of real sexual words, not crude porn language or childish words. You will see words such as _penis_ and _clitoris_ in this story, though also older references such as _manhood_. If this type of language upsets you, then I assume that you're either not mature enough to engage in activities involving them, or that you have some hang-ups that makes me question if you should read Mature rated stories. These words are as beautiful as the actual body parts and should be treated with the same respect and awe. That's my opinion, and that is my feeling behind using them in the story.

You will also see a contemporary slang word for a woman's sex – _quim_. This word became popular much due to the increased interest in Egypt around this time and the fact that many aristocrats visited Egypt.

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Matthew's patience and tenderness towards Mary seems to have done the trick. Is Mary finally ready to be fully intimate with her husband? Well, hide behinds the curtains and you will find out! It's the wedding night all over again, just without the fear and heart ache.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

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_Thank you for reviews and comments. The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!). Love it, love it! Please feel free to drop me a line._

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*** Please note that the **RATING** has changed to **MATURE** ***

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**Chapter 7**

The first thing Matthew noticed when he entered the bedroom that evening was Mary's nightgown draped over the chair by her vanity. He smiled at her and she blushed a little, pulling the sheet up higher.

He removed his pajamas and slipped under the sheet next to her.

"This is a lovely surprise," he said and caressed her cheek.

"Matthew," she said seriously and inched closer. "Perhaps it is time?"

His eyes widened a little and he cupped her chin. "Are you certain?"

"No, but I think that I am ready."

Matthew felt the reaction to her words in his entire body. He pulled her closer and kissed her with passion. She clung to him, returning his kiss. He stroked her back and cupped her buttocks, bringing her closer to him.

Rolling her over, he caressed her breasts, kissing them and loving her nipples. She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair. When he stroked gently between her legs she whimpered and pushed up against his hand.

"Darling, would you permit me to taste you?" he whispered against her breast.

"Oh Matthew," she gasped as he pulled at the nipple, making all sorts of delicious tingles go through her body. "Please."

He grinned and knelt between her legs, stroking her soft inner thighs. To his delight she pulled her knees up, opening herself up for him. He bent down and pressed his lips against her womanhood. Mary let out a high-pitched whimper and he felt her tremble.

Matthew sucked and licked, delighting in how his touch seemed to increase her pleasure. He teased her clitoris and dipped inside her, all aimed to get her more aroused. The tip of his finger slipped in easily when he ran it around her opening. He stroked and tickled her there until she started to push against him. Sitting up he looked at her.

"Are you ready?"

She nodded, and he noticed a flicker of trepidation in her eyes. It pained him that he had to hurt her in order to share this new level of passion. He stroked her legs and pushed them up before lowering himself.

Inching closer to her, he circled her little spot again and she smiled. When he felt her respond more to his touch he aligned himself with her opening and guided himself inside. She was so wet he slipped in a little without trouble. She gasped and stared at him.

"Am I hurting you?"

She shook her head. "Just stretching me. It feels… different."

He smiled and pushed a little. She whimpered and her brow furrowed when he met resistance. He eased off a little and she took a deep breath. He pushed forward again and she gasped.

"Mary, look at me please," he said softly.

Her dark eyes met his and he held her gaze as he pushed through, entering her about an inch. She cried out and her hand flew to his chest, pushing at him.

"You are hurting me," she whimpered. "God, Matthew, please take it out."

Matthew held still above her, waiting for her to relax. He stroked her side, trying to comfort her. Finally her whimpers stopped and she lay still.

"That was the hardest part," he said gently.

"It still hurts," she said in a shaky voice.

"Try to relax." She looked at him and he smiled in encouragement. Eventually he felt her muscles ease off around him. "See, like that. Does it feel better?"

"A little," she admitted.

Matthew let himself sink deeper and she whimpered again. For the first time Matthew wished that he had not been graced with the gift of a large manhood. A smaller sized man would have made this easier for her that much he was sure of. When he was finally completely surrounded by her soft heat he let out a sigh and smiled at her.

"We fit perfectly, my darling," he said and kissed her.

"Why does it still hurt?" she asked.

"Just wait a little and it should go away," he said, hoping that he was right.

Matthew slowly eased out of her. Looking down at where their bodies were joined he saw traces of blood on him. It was not exactly a surprise, but it still pained him to know that he had made her bleed. He looked up at her again when she whimpered. Before he would slip out of her he pushed back inside.

"Oh God," she gasped.

Matthew moved slowly above her. She moaned when he brushed his fingers over her folds. Her cheeks were pink and she was gasping and sighing as they moved together. He pushed her legs up further and quickened his pace.

"Matthew," she whimpered and her body trembled.

He pushed harder, grunting at the effort. His eyes closed when he felt himself swell and then he pushed inside her one last time, emitting deep inside her. Gasping for air he held still inside her and rubbed her slick folds again. She whimpered and then he felt it. She clenched around him as she let out a faint little cry as she peaked. He lowered her legs to the bed and slowly pulled out. Their mixed fluids stained her thighs and they had left their mark on the bed below them.

"Darling, how do you feel?" he asked as he took her in his arms, holding her tenderly against him.

"A bit sore, but also good," she said and smiled weakly at him. "It hurt something awful to begin with but after that it was nice. I was tingling everywhere at the end and it felt very good."

"I am glad to hear that," he said and kissed her. "We will get better at it."

She did not respond, just held him closer. Matthew felt like he wanted to scream out his joy for the world to hear. His manhood stirred again and passion flared up inside him. He pulled Mary on top of him making her straddle him. He teased her clitoris and she gasped. Pushing her down, he touched his stiff penis to her soft folds. She flinched and looked at him.

"It will be all right, darling," he assured her. "This way you have more control. Lower yourself slowly. You will set the pace this time. I will just lie here, enjoying the sight and feel of you."

Mary nodded silently and looked down at his penis. She winced a little as the head pushed through and pulled up in response, but he was now lodged inside her since she had tightened around him at the slight pain. Trying to relax, she eased down slowly. He still stretched her a lot, but it was not painful like it had been before, just a dull stinging. When she finally felt his hair against her folds she let out a sigh of relief. She had done it. He was all inside her and even though slightly uncomfortable, it had not actually hurt. She sat still for a moment, her hands resting on his chest. He caressed her thighs, comforting her.

"You feel absolutely wonderful," he said and smiled at her.

"It didn't hurt," she told him.

Matthew laughed in delight and pulled himself up so he was sitting with her on his lap. He kissed her and held her tightly. The change in position made him push a little deeper inside her and their moans mingled in their mouths at the intensity of it. He rubbed his thumbs over her nipples causing gasps and sighs from her.

"Rock your hips a little," he encouraged. "Figure out what you like."

She held on to his shoulders as she eased up a little and then slowly lowered herself. When it did not hurt she did it again and gasped when a deep tingle rumbled through her body. She angled her hips a bit differently and he slipped out of her again. She quickly pushed down, not wanting to have to feel the head enter her again, since that had still been a bit unpleasant. She moved on him in short strokes that went faster and faster without her realizing it. He grabbed her waist and steadied her. She whimpered and nodded.

She was stunning, he thought. Her long hair fell in waves over her shoulders and down over her breasts, brushing over her nipples. Her small breasts bounced a little and he leaned down for a quick kiss. Feeling a need to watch her, he lay down and took in how she moved over him. He pressed his fingers against her center and she instantly squeezed tightly around him and let out a cry of pleasure.

His fingers danced fast over her little pleasure spot and she tossed her head back. He groaned and pulled her down hard on him. As he did, she peaked, crying out her release as she clenched around him over and over. He held still, watching her release. When she hung her head and gasped for air he grabbed her waist and lifted her up a little so he could push up inside her. After a few powerful strokes he gasped through his release. He buried himself so deep inside her he thought they might be fused forever. He fell back on the bed in exhaustion, pulling her with him. They held on to each other, gasping for air. He stroked her back and she nuzzled his chest.

"I think I might have been wrong about this," she said very softly and then looked up at him, smiling a little impishly.

Matthew let out a loud laugh and pulled her to him, kissing her smiling lips. "Oh God, darling, you have no idea how happy that makes me."

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary felt incredibly sore the next morning, but she grinned thinking about what had caused it. The early morning sun fell on Matthew's face. His hair looked almost golden and she could not help touching it. He stirred and blinked before his blue eyes focused on her.

"Good morning," he said a little groggily.

"Good morning, darling," she said and kissed him.

Matthew grinned and pulled her closer. He cupped her breast and teased her nipples. Mary thought for a moment to stop him since she did not honestly know if she could have him inside her just yet. The soreness she felt worried her that it would be uncomfortable. Before she could say something, his lips closed around the nipple, sucking gently and making her feel so good. She sighed and smiled, perhaps it would be all right.

She grimaced as he entered her. He held still and watched her face carefully.

"Still sore?"

She nodded. "Just hold still for a moment."

He did not mind at all. Buried inside her hot center he leaned forward and kissed her breasts, licking and sucking her nipples. She sighed and whimpered and after a moment she moved her hips. He looked up at her and she nodded. He held himself up and slowly eased out of her before sliding back inside. Her eyes fluttered shut and she sighed.

"Put your legs around me."

She raised her knees until they were touching his sides, curling her legs around him. Her heels touched his buttocks and she giggled at the thought of it. He grinned and nodded his approval. She grabbed his arms and moaned when he sank back inside her.

"Oh Matthew," she whispered.

Matthew was floating on a cloud. All his patience and caring had paid off, he thought as he looked down at her face, taking in her blissful smile. He pushed deeper, faster and felt her heels dig into his buttocks, egging him on. He angled himself so he stroked against her folds. She shook and tightened around him. Holding back his own release he focused on hers, moving fast and shallow inside her, rubbing her little spot faster and faster, pushing her towards the brink. When she cried out her release he pounded into her in a couple of forceful strokes, and then he felt it. He froze, buried deep inside her, as he emitted.

Mary's legs fell down on the bed and they both panted as they tried to catch their breath. He rolled off her onto his back.

"Come here," he croaked out and pulled at her hand. He sighed happily when she curled up next to him.

"Matthew," she said softly.

"Hmm?"

"Is it possible for a woman to bleed twice?"

He frowned at her, wondering what she was talking about. Then he realized what she was asking. _The sheets_. The bloody soiled sheets! He glanced at the time. It was almost six. He did not have much time to act.

"Wait here," he said and slipped out of bed.

Mary leaned on her elbow watching him slip into his robe and then silently open the door to the hallway.

"What…" she stopped when he pressed his finger against his lips.

Mary pulled the sheet over herself as she waited for him to return. A moment later he slipped into the room and closed the door just as quietly behind him. He grinned at her and held up a beautifully folded white sheet. She laughed and nodded.

Together they changed the sheet on the bed, giggling and hushing each other just in case someone was listening outside the door. Matthew hid the old sheet deep inside her closet. When done, they stood facing each other in the room. He held out his hands to her and she came to him without hesitation. They kissed tenderly and just enjoyed the other's presence for a long silent moment. Eventually Matthew let go of her and got back on the bed. He bounced on it a few times and rolled around, pulling at the sheet they had just put on. She folded her arms, shaking her head at his odd behavior.

"Has my husband lost all his senses? I admit I did not expect it to happen this soon," she teased.

"I needed to make it look like we had actually slept on it," he said with a grin.

Mary laughed at his antics, but was pleased at the length he would go to, to ensure her happiness.

"I need a bath," she said and sighed. "If you are done jumping on the bed I will call for Anna."

"You could join me," he said and smiled. "Playing in bed with you is definitely a favorite pursuit of mine."

"Matthew, you are impossible," she said and made a face at him.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Milady!" Anna gasped when she saw some dried blood on the inside of Mary's thigh.

Mary sighed and touched the spot. "As you can probably tell, Mr. Crawley and I were not fully intimate with each other until last night."

Mary looked away, unable to meet Anna's eyes. She shivered when Anna's gentle hand stroked over her arm. She placed her hand on top of it, enjoying the comfort and support it offered.

"I wondered," Anna admitted softly. "But it was not my place to ask questions."

Mary nodded and took a deep breath. She smiled weakly at Anna and took a step closer to the tub.

"Are you sore?" Anna asked softly.

Mary's dark eyes bore down on her maid. Noticing Anna's pink cheeks and her kind eyes she knew that she had meant no harm with her question.

"Yes," Mary admitted.

"I was too," Anna said quickly. "It will go away in a few days."

"Thank you."

"The water might sting a little, milady. Had I known, I wouldn't have used anything in it," Anna said apologetically. "If you like I can do it over."

"No Anna, I am sure that it will be all right," Mary said and smiled at her.

Anna held her hand, steadying her as she eased down into the warm scented water. It stung for just a moment and she winced, but then sighed as she relaxed in the water. She hummed in delight when Anna placed a folded towel under her head and stroked her hair. It was a gesture she had come to associate with Anna. No one else would ever be presumptuous enough to dare touch her so intimately. Well, now there was one other she thought and smiled to herself.

"Did you learn to enjoy it?" she asked Anna, keeping her eyes closed, slightly embarrassed at asking such a personal question.

"Oh yes, milady," Anna said and let out a little giggle.

"I'm glad. That gives me hope."

"Did you not enjoy it?" Anna said and frowned.

"It was quite painful to tell you the truth," Mary said and sighed. "After a while it felt better, but I was just so incredibly sore it was not completely pleasant."

"I'm sorry to hear that. If you will let him come to you again, it will get better. Promise."

Mary chuckled, thinking for a brief moment of their encounter this morning. It had definitely felt nicer than the night before. "I believe you. So Mr. Bates is quite the ladies' man then?" she teased.

Anna blushed and bit her lip. Mary opened her eyes and looked at her. She laughed at Anna's flushed face.

"I have no complaints," Anna mumbled.

"Oh Anna," Mary said and laughed.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew heard the laughter from the bathroom and wondered if they were talking about him. He felt his face get warm at the thought. Mary was very close with Anna, but would she really share intimate details with her maid? The answer, he noted, was that he was not actually sure. He tapped gently on the door and the laughing stopped.

"Darling, I am going down to breakfast."

"I will be down shortly. Please, don't wait for me."

"As you wish. Enjoy your bath," he said and turned.

As he started down the stairs he heard a new round of laughter from the other side of the bathroom door and he shook his head. _Women_.

*** L MJC ***

_They finally did it – they crossed the Rubicon! Is it all bliss in the young Crawley household now? Will Mary and Matthew start to behave like love struck newlyweds? To Mary's frustration someone close to them is interfering, preventing all of this from happening. However, when Matthew eventually returns to her, it is all so much sweeter! Chapter 8 will be up soon!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Rating:** Mature (this chapter has some very explicit sections)

**Mature Language Note:** This is a love story, and it makes use of real sexual words, not crude porn language or childish words. You will see words such as _penis_ and _clitoris_ in this story, though also older references such as _manhood_. If this type of language upsets you, then I assume that you're either not mature enough to engage in activities involving them, or that you have some hang-ups that makes me question if you should read Mature rated stories. These words are as beautiful as the actual body parts and should be treated with the same respect and awe. That's my opinion, and that is my feeling behind using them in the story.

You will also see a contemporary slang word for a woman's sex – _quim_. This word became popular much due to the increased interest in Egypt around this time and the fact that many aristocrats visited Egypt.

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: They have overcome their fear and declared their love for each other in the most profound way. Everything is the way it should be, or is it? Lady Mary learns that someone is about to interfere in her marital bliss and she is not happy about it. An amused Dowager Countess watches from nearby trying to calm Mary's ruffled feathers.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar _

_and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you for reviews and faving. The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!). Love it, love it! Please feel free to drop me a line._

…

…

**Chapter 8**

Mary was furious. How could her father do this to her? She sighed in frustration and sat down by the fire in the drawing room. She and Matthew had come up to Downton for dinner, only to learn that Lord Grantham needed Matthew to come with him to London in the morning. She let out an irritated huff.

"Whatever is the matter, dear?" the Dowager Countess asked her granddaughter.

"Oh, nothing really, Granny," Mary said and smiled at her. "I just wish that Papa would not steal my husband away like that without any notice at all."

"I see," Violet said and tilted her head to study Mary more closely. "I hardly doubt that it is Mr. Moseley's time and lack of sleep as he is preparing Matthew's departure that you are worried about, so I assume that it has to do with Matthew's absence."

Mary sighed and looked into the fire. "It's just that I will miss him."

Violet smiled to herself. So things had worked out after all, she mused. "That is quite understandable my dear. After all, the two of you have only been married for a short couple of months."

If only you know how short, Mary thought to herself and to her embarrassment her cheeks felt warm. Violet chuckled and patted her arm.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary gasped and her body arched up against him as they peaked together. She clutched at his body, her nails digging into his back and let out a long whimper as she relaxed under him.

"God, Mary," Matthew gasped and leaned over her, panting hard.

Mary's legs were still curled around him, and she slowly let them down on the bed. She could feel him slip out of her and she shivered at the loss. She reached for him and he pulled her close as they settled next to each other.

"I will miss you," she said and sighed.

"I know. Still, you will be bored in London."

"I'm not sure about that, but I think that Papa wants you to himself while you are there," she said and smiled.

"If he thinks that you would be a distraction, he is right," Matthew teased and kissed her. "A most delightful distraction."

Mary laughed and playfully whacked his chest. "Matthew Crawley, you are bad man."

"Don't badger your husband right before he is about to suffer your absence for almost a week," he said dramatically. "I might cry."

She laughed at the thought and made a face at him. He pulled her closer and kissed her.

* * *

><p>.<p>

The week had flown by, and on the evening of Matthew's and her father's return Mary waited impatiently for them at Downton. When the phone call came that they had missed their train and would be on the eleven o' clock train instead, she sighed in frustration. Since she was already up at the house she agreed to stay for dinner to keep her mother company.

After dinner they had enjoyed their drinks and coffees in the drawing room together with the Dowager Countess and Edith. It was rare to have such a quiet evening, Mary thought. Still, she was bored, and annoyed at the delay in seeing Matthew. When Violet asked Carson to have the motor brought up, Mary was quick to announce that she would be leaving too, claiming it silly for the car to make two trips.

Mary smiled and looked down when she noticed the look of understanding on her grandmother's face. Her reaction awarded her a little chuckle from Violet.

"I am sure he will be most happy to see you too, dear," she said and smiled.

"Thank you Granny."

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary glanced at the time again. Why was Matthew not here yet? She sent a dark thought to her father for most likely having Matthew go to the big house first. With a huff she returned to her book. She had sent Anna to bed an hour ago after she had helped Mary get ready for bed. She had been reading in bed since, but if anyone asked she would not be able to tell what the story was about.

A noise downstairs made her put her book down. Voices. Laughter. She grinned when she recognized Matthew's voice. Then she heard a door open and close followed by silence. She frowned. Why wasn't he coming upstairs? She had expected him to come running upstairs and kiss her hello. She blushed at the thought. She smiled and closed her book when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Then there was a gentle knock on the door.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Did you have a pleasant trip, Sir?" Mr. Moseley asked, taking Matthew's coat and hat.

"I did, thank you," Matthew said and smiled at his valet. "I have another small case with me back from London, plus one for Mrs. Bird. It is quite fragile as there are a few bottles of wine in it," he said and grinned. "Oh, and there's another case for Lady Mary. Please be careful with it."

"Certainly, Sir."

"If you could please just keep them downstairs for tonight. I do not wish for her to see them just yet," Matthew said in a low voice and smiled, unable to conceal his anticipation of giving it to her.

Moseley nodded and smiled in understanding. "Very well, Sir."

"I will be in my office for a little while. There is something I need to take care of before I retire for the night. I will see myself to bed, so you may retire. It is late and there is no reason for you to stay up waiting," Matthew said.

"Thank you, Sir. That's very kind of you. Will that be all, Sir?

"Yes, Moseley. No, wait," he said and looked at his valet over his shoulder. "Would you mind asking Lady Mary to come down to my office? I assume that she has retired."

"Yes, about an hour ago."

"Unless she is asleep of course."

Moseley nodded and closed the door to the office behind him. He frowned as he climbed the stairs to the second floor.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary slipped into her dressing gown and slippers before heading downstairs. She wondered what on earth Matthew wanted to see her about at this hour. Why not just tell her upstairs? She knocked on the door and entered.

"Hello darling," he said and smiled at her.

"Matthew," she said and closed the door behind her. "Is something wrong?"

"Of course not," he said with a teasing grin. "I just wanted to see you."

"Then why in God's name did you not just come to bed?" she said and laughed.

"Because I wanted to see you in here," he said mysteriously. "Come here darling."

She walked closer and around his desk. Mathew laughed and jumped up; grabbing her by the hips he pulled her close and kissed her. She threw her arms around his neck and let him pick her up, her legs curled around his waist as she pulled herself up.

"I dreamt about you the other night," he whispered and brushed his lips against her ear. "Do you want to hear about it?"

"Yes," she gasped as a shudder went through her body.

Matthew pulled her down on his lap and she happily settled in. He ran his hand up and down her side and over her thigh. His eyes twinkled as he kissed her.

"I was working late in the office," he whispered and nibbled on the side of her mouth.

"Here or in Ripon?"

"Here of course," he said and grinned. "I was sitting at my desk, focusing on a very difficult case when in walks my seductive wife."

Mary rolled her eyes. "Honestly, darling."

"And you were wearing pretty much exactly what you're wearing right now," he continued and fingered the soft, almost sheer fabric of her dressing gown. "It was cut a little lower here," he mumbled and traced her cleavage. "and it was definitely much shorter."

"Matthew!" Mary exclaimed in shock. "You know perfectly well that I do not have any nightgown shorter than this one."

He sighed and made a sad face. "Perhaps we need to change that. You looked stunning in my dream."

"Are you saying that I don't look stunning in this?" she asked and her eyes narrowed.

"No! Of course not," he said quickly and kissed her. "You are absolutely beautiful, darling."

Mary laughed and cupped his face. "Thank you."

"May I continue to tell you about my dream now?" he said with a teasing smile.

Mary nodded and made a little gesture over her mouth indicating that she would be silent.

"You came in here, worried that your husband was working too much," Matthew said and caressed her cheek. "You told me that you missed me and asked me to come to bed. When I said that I needed to finish something first you sat down on my lap just like this."

"How very clever of me," she teased. He gave her a look and she giggled. "Sorry. Please do go on."

"You kissed me and removed my necktie," he whispered and kissed her. "Then you started to unbutton my shirt, one button at the time, dragging your fingers over my chest as it fell open."

"Like this?" she whispered and made quick work with his tie and then opened his shirt.

"Yes," he gasped as she caressed his chest with her index finger.

"Then what?" she said in a hot breathy kiss.

"We kissed and I touched you."

"How?"

Matthew kissed her fiercely as passion coursed through his body. Her fingers tangled in his hair and he pushed her thin nightgown up further so he could touch her warm thighs. When she felt his fingers on her she hissed and tossed her head back. He kissed her neck, nibbling, licking, teasing all the little sensitive spots there.

"Matthew," she gasped.

He struggled to get up with her wrapped around him. She held on to his shoulders as their lips came together in a crushing kiss. She felt him push her nightgown up over her hips and she shivered when her warm bottom met the coolness of his desk. She unhooked her legs when he pulled away. He stroked over her thighs and then touched her soft folds. She whimpered against his lips and tried to inch closer.

Mary fumbled for his belt and almost yanked it out before unbuttoning his trousers. As she pushed them over his hips they fell down, pooling around his feet. She laughed when he moaned as she ran her hands over his buttocks inside his underwear before pushing them down too, freeing him from the last constraint.

Matthew pushed her legs up and pulled her closer to the edge before entering her. Their eyes met as he slowly slid inside her. She smiled blissfully and let out a deep sigh. He grinned and buried himself all the way inside her.

"Put your legs around me again," he whispered.

She did and he leaned forward, allowing her to lie down on the desk. She whimpered as he moved faster against her. When she felt his thumb stroke over her folds she let out a faint cry and closed her eyes hard.

"Oh God!" She grabbed his arms and her legs tightened around him as she peaked, pushing her hips up hard against him.

Mathew gasped and gritted his teeth as he spent inside her. When her legs slid off him he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down on his lap as he sank down in the chair. She gasped as he moved inside her and tipped her hips forward. He grinned and nodded enthusiastically. She did it again, feeling him swell inside her. She grabbed his shoulders and laughed as she rocked on top of him. He slipped his hand between them to rub against her and she moved faster, panting, lips separated in passion. When she peaked she tossed her head back, her whole body arched in pleasure. He pulled her down hard on him and climaxed again.

She fell down on him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder, trembling in the aftermath of their heated lovemaking. He kissed her cheek and stroked her back.

"I am so glad to be home," he whispered in her ear.

Mary laughed and nodded. "You are not saying?"

* * *

><p>.<p>

Later, after a second round of lovemaking, this time slower and without clothes, they lay facing each other in bed. Mary smiled and traced the muscles on his arm.

"You know, tonight was the first time that I did not feel any pain or soreness," she said softly. "I feared that it would always be there, but I am so very glad that I was wrong. It felt absolutely wonderful," she said and met his eyes. "Thank you for being so patient with me."

He kissed her softly. "Of course, there was no other way. Your pleasure and comfort is the most important thing to me."

"For so long I dreaded being intimate with you," she said and looked up at him. "On our wedding night I was terrified."

"I know," he said sadly. "It pains me still to know that you were so tormented inside."

"I could not allow myself to love you since I did not think that I had your love. To believe that ours was a loveless marriage, a mere business alliance, was somehow easier to deal with. Except when it came to intimacy." She caressed his chest and placed a soft kiss right over his heart. "I am very lucky that you are an honorable man."

Matthew sighed and pulled her closer. "And I am very lucky to have your love and respect."

She smiled happily and they kissed tenderly before settling in comfortably next to each other.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary smiled as she started to wake up. She stretched and blinked a few times and then her brow furrowed in confusion. Matthew was still in bed next to her. She inched closer and ran her hand down his side, kissing him softly on the shoulder to wake him.

"Darling," she whispered. "Will you not be late for work?"

"Mmm," he mumbled and turned around to take her in his arms. "This is nice."

She smiled at him and eagerly accepted his kiss. Mary put her head down on his shoulder and sighed at the wonderful feeling of waking up like this.

"As much as I enjoy this," she said softly and nuzzled his neck. "And I really do, darling. Should you not be on your way to Ripon by now?"

"I'm not going," he said and tried to hide his smile, he thought he sounded much like a small boy refusing to go to school.

"You're not?" she said and raised herself up so she could look at him. "And why is that pray tell?"

Matthew pulled her on top of him and kissed her before answering. She grinned as she felt his pleasure of being this close to her.

"My trip to London included outlining my new duties as the heir." Mary's eyebrows shot up so fast it made him laugh. "From now on I will be spending two days a week with your father to learn how to run the estate. To tell you the truth, I would almost rather go to work," he said and made a face. "There's a lot to this Earl appointment. Downton most definitely does not run itself."

"You will do a fine job, Matthew," she said and cupped his cheek. "I just know it."

"Thank you," he said, smiling fondly at her. "The added bonus is that I get to spend more mornings with you. I am not to meet your father until ten."

Mary laughed in delight and squirmed above him. "Whatever should we do to fill the time?"

Matthew laughed and rolled her over. He caressed her thigh and stomach, then cupped her breast. "I don't know, dearest. What do you suggest?"

Mary sighed and her eyes fluttered shut. "How about some more of what you're doing right now?"

Matthew grinned and bent his head taking the other nipple in his mouth, sucking greedily. Mary arched up against him as she groaned with pleasure. He cupped her _quim_ and moaned when he felt how wet she was. There was no doubt about it, she wanted him. He pushed her legs up high and let them rest on his shoulders as he pushed inside her. Her mouth fell open and she gasped at the sensation of being filled. Watching the emotions on her face he quickened his pace. She whimpered and sighed.

"Let go, darling," he gasped. "I want to feel you spend."

Mary's eyes opened a crack and she grabbed his arms. He could tell that she was fighting to keep her eyes open. He moved his hips in a circular movement as he pushed deeper. She gasped and her back arched. He felt her tighten around him and knew that she was close. He ground against her and then she was there. She cried out her release and clamped down hard on him as shudders went through her body. He watched in amazement. The intensity of her release tore through him and he felt her continue to squeeze him. He moved faster and then he let go as he peaked.

Her legs trembled when he eased them down. He gasped as he held himself up, not wanting to crush her. She was still pulsing around him and he pushed firmer against her trying to prolong the connection. When he eventually slipped out of her they both sighed at the loss.

"Dear God, Mary," he gasped and grinned as he flopped down on his back. "We are becoming rather good at this."

Mary laughed and curled up next to him. He pulled her closer and kissed her firmly.

"You were right Matthew," she whispered.

"About what?" he asked.

"That morning when I asked you why a man wants to be intimate with a woman. You said that it would be magical for us, special."

"Ah," he said and turned his head to look at her. He caressed her cheek. "Every day with you is magical, my darling. And being intimate with you is truly exquisite, more beautiful than anything I could ever have imagined."

Mary swallowed and fought the tears that threatened to spill. He pulled her close again and she pressed her face against his neck.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew leaned back in his chair and sighed, running his hand through his hair. He had been studying the estate calendar and the list of tenants for the last couple of hours. His head was swimming with important dates and crop rotations. He looked up as Robert entered and smiled impishly when Robert laughed at the look on his face.

"Running the estate is a bit more intricate than you imagined, is that not right, my boy?"

"Indeed," Matthew said and sighed heavily.

"Come, luncheon is almost ready. Mary is coming up to join us."

Matthew's face lit up at the sound of her name and Robert patted his shoulder.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary's smile widened when she spotted Matthew coming out of the library with her father. She walked towards them and he picked up his pace when he saw her. He took her offered hands and pulled her close. Matthew brushed his lips against hers and she welcomed the kiss. They broke apart and stared at each other when they heard a chuckle next to them. Mary's face turned deep pink when she realized that she had just kissed Matthew in front of her father. She looked away.

"Don't get too carried away now," Robert teased.

Matthew laughed and wrapped his arm around Mary's waist. "I will do my best, but I do admit I love my wife dearly and I miss her something awful when we're separated."

"Matthew," Mary gasped and her face flushed further.

Robert laughed and nodded. "Trust me Matthew; you are not the first man to look a fool in love. I am not upset with you, not at all. It pleases me tremendously that the two of you have settled in so well together."

Mary smiled and nodded. "Thank you Papa. Matthew makes me very happy and I could not ask for a more loving husband."

Matthew tightened his grip on her as he almost felt faint at hearing her admit her love for him to her father. She looked up at him and he stroked her cheek.

"Oh Mary," he whispered.

"All right you two," Robert said with a chuckle. "Luncheon awaits and I want you to remember that I'm still in the room, not to mention that she is still my little girl," he said and shot Matthew a teasing smile.

"Yes Sir," Matthew said and smiled.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Papa, could I have a word before you and Matthew lock yourselves away again?" Mary said as the three eventually made their way out of the dining room.

"Of course." Robert smiled at Matthew. "You go ahead. I will test you on crop rotations in a moment Matthew, so read up."

Matthew made a face and rolled his eyes. He kissed Mary's cheek and then left.

"You are not really going to test him, are you?" Mary said and tilted her head.

"Not today, but he doesn't need to know that," Robert said and winked at her.

"Oh, Papa, you are truly devious at times."

"He's my son-in-law; I need to keep him on his toes."

"Just don't badger him too much. I don't want a sobbing mess of a husband to attend to this evening."

Robert laughed and nodded. "I doubt that it will come to that. In any case, I think he is more inclined to stomp off in a huff than anything else. He can be just as stubborn and contrary as you, my dear."

"Papa!" Mary said shocked.

"Don't even try to deny it, Mary. I think you have stomped off in a huff on and off since you were three years old."

Mary rolled her eyes. "And I am certain that I've had good reason to."

Robert smiled fondly at her and steered her over to the sofa in the drawing room. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Remember the puppies?"

Robert chuckled and nodded. "I do. Is it time?"

Mary nodded. "Will you ride out with me?"

"Of course I will," he said and caressed her cheek. "Matthew will be here tomorrow. How about the day after?"

"That sounds perfect," she said cheerfully.

"Remember to alert Moseley so he can prepare."

Mary nodded. She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Papa."

Robert saw her out and then headed for the library where he found, as expected, a quite overwhelmed Matthew blabbering about barley and oats.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Robert smiled at his wife as he slipped into bed next to her. When she looked up at him he leaned over and kissed her softly. She smiled and stroked his cheek.

"I think that Mary has finally accepted that she is in love with her husband," he said and grinned at Cora.

"Really?" she said and smiled. "That is wonderful."

"They actually kissed in my presence at luncheon today, looking so much like newlyweds that it made me laugh."

Cora gasped. "Mary allowed him to do that?"

Robert nodded. "I think everything really is all right with them."

Cora sighed in relief. She had been very worried about Mary. Remembering some of the cold nights during the first year of her own marriage, Cora had hoped and prayed that Mary would not have to experience the same. Pushing the sad thoughts aside she looked at Robert.

"I am very relieved to hear that. Mary was so upset. I never told you, because I honestly wanted to spare you the sadness."

"I could feel it. We all could," he said with a heavy sigh. Then he smiled and squeezed her hand. "But it's all in the past. I don't want to get ahead of things, but I would not be surprised if they will make a family announcement soon."

Cora squealed in delight. "Really? Did they say something?"

He shook his head. "No, but from how sickening in love they appeared at luncheon today I cannot imagine that it will be long."

Cora laughed and shot him a look. "Oh come now Robert, I know you're a romantic at heart. That speech might convince other people, but I know you better."

"That you do, my darling," he said and pulled her close. He took her hand and stroked her fingers. "Mary wants to get Matthew a dog," he said and smiled.

"She does?" Cora said in surprise. "When did this happen?"

"Oh a few weeks ago when she came upon the Robinsons' farm while she was out on Diamond. Apparently their dog has a litter."

"I know that he has lavished her with gifts, but I was not aware of that she had been doing the same."

"I think this is the first time," he said thoughtfully.

Cora happily settled in in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "Mary and I were both very lucky to find love with honorable men."

Robert tightened his hold on her. "I am so glad to hear you say that. I cannot even imagine a life without you. I do love you, Cora."

Cora sniffled and burrowed her face against his neck. "I know you do, and it makes me truly happy." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "For a while I was not sure if I would ever have love, but I am so pleased to have been proven wrong. I love you Robert. I hope you know that."

He smiled and nodded. "I do. I have been very lucky not only to have your love, but also that you're a sweet and wonderful woman. You have a good heart Cora, and you have given me three beautiful daughters. And even so, you remain as beautiful as the day when I married you."

"Oh Robert," she sighed. "You sweet talker."

"I need to get up early tomorrow, but this is very nice," he mumbled and caressed her a bit more intimately.

Cora chuckled and pressed against him. "Sometimes it feels like you have not aged a day since our first anniversary," she teased.

Robert grinned. "That night was definitely memorable," he agreed.

"It sure was."

Easing Cora's nightgown up higher Robert yet again showed her just how much he loved her. When the two finally fell asleep they were tangled together just like on that special night so many years ago.

*** L MJC ***

_Mary got her husband back and the week of separation culminated in a loving get-together. People are noticing around them how they finally have found each other and finally admitted their love for each other. Things are shaping up for our newlyweds. In __**Chapter 9**__ there will be puppies. Matthew will show a softer side still, and one of Moseley's rose bushes will almost perish in battle. Mary and Matthew continue to grow as a couple, finding new ways of showing their love._

**A/N:** I am a bit at a loss with this story. There has not been a lot of response to it so I honestly don't know if I should continue it. It is basically written, but if there is little or no interest in it I honestly don't know if I want to continue posting chapters. If you have enjoyed the story so far, please feel free to drop me a line, even if it is short. You don't have to give detailed feedback or constructive criticism, a "_enjoy the story, looking forward to the next chapter_" or something like that is more than enough :) Thanks for feeding the muse!


	9. Chapter 9

**Rating:** Mature (this chapter has some very explicit sections)

**Mature Language Note:** This is a love story, and it makes use of real sexual words, not crude porn language or childish words. You will see words such as _penis_ and _clitoris_ in this story, though also older references such as _manhood_. If this type of language upsets you, then I assume that you're either not mature enough to engage in activities involving them, or that you have some hang-ups that makes me question if you should read Mature rated stories. These words are as beautiful as the actual body parts and should be treated with the same respect and awe. That's my opinion, and that is my feeling behind using them in the story.

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Matthew froze at the entrance to the drawing room. The floor was covered in old newspapers. He could hear Mary laughing inside. Unsure what he would find he cautiously stepped through the door.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar _

_and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you so much for your reviews and encouragement to continue this. I do realize that not everyone is on board with the journey I've taken Mary on (keeping in mind that this is mid-season one Mary) but it warms my heart that so many of you understand where I'm going with her, and the two of them. _

_The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!), so please feel free to continue to drop me a line._

…

…

**Chapter 9**

Robert smiled at Mary on the floor with the puppies. The sight brought back fond memories of when the two had picked out Isis together. Mary had always loved dogs. Robert frowned for a moment wondering why he had never given Mary a dog of her own.

"Papa," she said and held up a tiny black puppy. "Isn't she just precious?"

He took the puppy from Mary and held the squirming animal against his chest. The little puppy licked his face and whined as he rubbed its tummy.

"She is, but she is terribly small, Mary."

Mary nodded. "I believe she's the runt of the litter."

"Aye," Billy confirmed.

Mary smiled at the boy. Billy was taking his job as puppy owner very serious.

"I'm not sure if that's the best choice," Robert said carefully.

"She is small, but she has a lot o' energy an' spirit this 'un," Jim said and laughed. "Handfed her m'self when we weaned 'em. She loves her food. Now she's strong enough to beat 'er brothers and sisters to the food bowl."

Robert smiled. "Which ones are the other females? Surely it would not hurt to at least look at them."

Jim and Billy grabbed the three puppies and separated them from the rest. Mary was still sitting on the floor, now with three puppies crawling on her.

* * *

><p>.<p>

In the end Lord Grantham had to agree with Mary. The little black puppy was the right choice. She was feisty, happy and very affectionate. Mary played with her on the floor until the puppy fell asleep in her lap. Robert sighed and nodded.

Paying Jim more than enough for the animal, Robert secured the wicker basket to his saddle and he and Mary started their trek back. The puppy whined inside, clearly not happy to be confined. He talked to her and she eventually settled down.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary handed Diamond over to Lynch and walked over to her father taking the basket from him.

"Thank you so much, Papa."

"It was a pleasure, Mary. I cannot wait to hear what Matthew says."

She smiled and nodded. "I'm sure he will fall in love just like you did," she teased.

Robert laughed and nodded. "She will be a fine dog for him."

Mary kissed his cheek and smiled before heading back to Crawley house.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew froze at the entrance to the drawing room. The floor was covered in old newspapers. He could hear Mary laughing inside. Unsure what he would find he cautiously stepped through the door. His jaw fell at the sight of his wife on her back on the floor with a _puppy_. She looked up when she heard him and laughed more. With the puppy in a secure grasp, she got up and walked over to him.

"Mary?"

"Hello, darling." Mary grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer to kiss him hello.

Matthew sighed into the kiss and the delicious feeling of her soft lips. Then he jerked away from her and touched his cheek. His very wet cheek. The puppy whined and squirmed in Mary's arms.

"Matthew, this is your Isis," she said and grinned. "You seem to appeal to her."

"I guess. She just kissed me," he muttered and took the puppy from Mary.

The puppy and Matthew looked at each other for a moment. She let out a little bark and squirmed. He pulled her against his chest and she started to lick his face. He laughed as it tickled.

"So am I getting this right," he said amused. "You got me a dog?"

"I did. You're a gentleman, Matthew, and the heir to Downton. Our family has always had horses and dogs. We hunt and we ride. As the future earl you should have a dog."

"I see," he said and scratched the puppy's ears. She whined and her tongue lolled out of her mouth. "And her name is really Isis?"

Mary rolled her eyes and he laughed. "She doesn't have a name yet. I thought that you might want to name her. She is _your_ dog."

"Hmm…" Matthew said thoughtfully as the little dog chewed on his finger. "How about Drooly?"

"Matthew!" Mary huffed and made a face.

"Ouch!" he said and pulled his hand away when sharp little puppy teeth almost punctured his skin. "Naughty girl."

"Come," Mary said and took his hand, pulling him outside.

Matthew put the puppy down in the grass and she happily bounced around chasing her tail, then running after a butterfly, chewing on a stick, apparently unable to focus on anything for more than thirty seconds. Matthew and Mary laughed at her silly behavior. He pulled Mary closer and wrapped his arms around her, hands clasped over her stomach. His eyes widened a little. Did she feel a little rounder around her waist? He stroked over her stomach trying to figure it out. Still uncertain, Matthew kept his curiosity at bay.

"How about Violet?" he suggested.

Mary gave him a look. "You honestly want to name your dog after Granny? She will never speak to you again."

Matthew chuckled. "I guess not. Though I must say, I am already fairly fond of the little thing, so it really is an honor."

"I highly doubt that Granny would see it that way."

"All right," he said and sighed dramatically. "I will think of something else."

"You do that, darling."

"Thank you," he whispered and kissed her cheek.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mrs. Bird made a face as she scooped some of the slop into a metal bowl. She huffed and then put it down on the floor watching the puppy come bouncing over and dig in with gusto.

"And now I'm cooking for a dog," she muttered and folded her arms.

The Robinsons had shared the recipe for their special dog food. Mrs. Bird had rolled her eyes when Mary had handed her the list of ground beef, carrots, kale and all sorts of added nutritional substances. She could not understand why the Crawleys could not let their dog eat leftovers like most other people did. Mary had explained the importance of nutrition to the cook who just rolled her eyes again. Still Mary kept firm, sticking by what Jim Robinson had told her. His dogs and healthy puppies were a true testimonial to the success of his special feed.

"Has Mr. Crawley decided on a name yet?" Moseley asked and eyed the puppy carefully, ready to scoop her up to take her outside as soon as she was done eating.

"Not yet," Mary said and smiled at him. "I think he has considered a hundred names by now."

Moseley chuckled and nodded. Matthew had discussed it with him earlier in the day.

"I am sure it will come to him eventually."

Mary nodded. "I hope he will decide soon. We cannot call her _Puppy_ forever."

The dog was now licking the empty bowl, chasing it around as it moved on the floor. Moseley picked her up and carried her outside.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew turned and looked at Mary. She was half sitting up in bed with the sheet tucked under her arms, reading. He stroked her thigh affectionately under the sheet and her brow arched in amusement.

"What is it?" she asked and tilted her head.

"Do you think she's all right?"

Mary chuckled and put her book down. She stretched out next to him and wrapped her arm around his waist.

"Darling, she's a dog. She will be fine."

"A baby dog," he said and looked at her. "Perhaps I should go and check on her. She's so little and she was crying earlier."

"Matthew," Mary said patiently. "She cried last night too. She will get used to sleeping alone much faster if you don't bother her."

He sighed and then lit up. "Perhaps I should give her the shirt I was wearing today? The one from yesterday might not smell of me anymore."

Mary laughed and pushed him over on his back before crawling on top of him. Sitting astride his waist she stroked his chest. When his hands settled on her thighs she leaned down and kissed him.

"The dog is most likely already asleep and so should little Matthew be," she teased. "Unless there is something you'd rather do?"

Matthew laughed and rolled her over. Peering down into her dark eyes he kissed her firmly, pushing his hand into her thick hair. He loved when she let her hair down.

"Oh dear, Matthew," she said huskily as his leg came to rest between hers. "Seems there might be a way for me to distract you after all."

Matthew laughed and brushed his fingers over her breast and nipple. She sighed and smiled blissfully. With a teasing smiled he slowly bent his head, hovering over her breast while keeping eye contact. He hummed around her nipple when her eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his lips on her.

Mary ran her hands through his hair and pushed up against his mouth. His lips and hands were making little fires flare up all over her body. Remembering that she was the one starting it she caressed his back and then dragged her nails up over his shoulder blades. As expected his head shot up and he groaned in pleasure. Having her chance, she now rolled him over and stretched out on top of him, planting kisses across his chest. He grinned and caressed her cheek.

Matthew watched in fascination as Mary moved over him, placing kisses and soft caresses in her wake. When her fingers closed around him he groaned again and his hips bucked up. Her warm hand felt so good. His jaw fell and his eyes flew open when he felt something wet and soft on him. Looking down at her sitting next to his hip he cleared his throat.

"Was that… your tongue?" he whispered.

She nodded and her smile vanished. "I'm sorry. I thought you would like it."

"I did," he quickly assured her. She smiled at him and he touched her hand. "I loved it actually."

Mary giggled and then tossed her hair over her shoulder before leaning down. Just like he had done only moments ago she held his gaze as she bent her head.

"God!" he exclaimed and his whole body shook at the feel of her mouth on him.

Mary knew her face must be bright red. She had no idea where she got the nerve from to do this to him. Luckily it appeared as if he was more than enjoying her impulsive act. Tightening her lips a bit around him she stroked her tongue over the soft skin. He shook and his fingers tangled in her hair.

"Mary," he gasped. "Oh God, Mary."

Hearing the need and intense pleasure in his voice she became braver and moved her mouth a bit more over him, her hand firm around the base of him. The fingers in her hair tightened more and she tasted something on him. It did not taste bad exactly, just surprised her a little.

Matthew thought his heart might stop from the almost painful pleasure brought on by Mary's mouth and hand. No one had ever done this to him before. He had heard some of the young men talking about it when at university, even walked in on two men together once when coming out of a pub and taking a shortcut through the alley behind. He sighed and smiled and then groaned as she did something incredible with her tongue. Not that he wanted to, but he realized that he had to stop her.

"Darling," he said between gritted teeth. "You need to stop."

Mary smiled and let go of him. She rested her hand on his thigh eyeing him cautiously. She shrieked in a very unladylike fashion when he grabbed her hand and pulled her down on top of him, kissing her passionately.

"Am I to believe that you enjoyed that?" she purred against his lips.

"Perhaps a little," he teased back.

Mary started to respond when he found that spot right below her ear that made her forget almost anything. She sighed and tossed her head back. He rolled her over all while kissing her neck and touching her. She eagerly moved her legs when he cupped her sex, stroking gently over her.

"Please Matthew," she gasped. "I need you."

Matthew knelt on the bed and pulled her legs over his thighs. She arched up as he pushed forward and they came together in one smooth move. She gasped at the incredible feeling of being completely filled by him. Matthew closed his eyes and held her against him for a moment pushing his release back. When he opened his eyes he saw the need in hers and he spurred into action.

Mary gasped and met him as he entered her. She was hot and out of breath, gasping and moaning as he pushed her towards release. She could feel him everywhere inside and it caused tingle after tingle to ripple through her body. She dug her nails into his back and arched up against him trying to pull him in deeper, impossibly closer to her.

Matthew grabbed her waist and pulled her up, her body arching over the bed as he ground into her. She was hot and he could feel a sheen of sweat on her back knowing that he was experiencing the same. He cried out when she tightened around him as he pulled out as if trying to keep him inside her. He moved faster, grinding against her and then he felt it. He yelled out his release and pushed deep inside her as he emitted. He rubbed her little pleasure spot and it did not take much before she cried out too, clenching tightly around him. He eased her back down on the bed and held himself up over her as he tried to catch his breath. It felt as if even opening his eyes was too much right now. He could feel her squeeze him as she experienced aftershocks. Forcing his eyes open he looked at her. She was smiling at him.

"God I'm lucky," he said, his voice hoarse. "I love you so much."

Mary held out her hand to him. "I know and I love you too."

Matthew sighed as he slipped out of her. He groaned as he sank down next to her.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary smiled at Matthew as she entered the dining room the next morning. A soft breeze was coming through the open French doors. She walked over to the sideboard and helped herself to some toast and eggs.

"Where's the puppy?" she asked Matthew and kissed him softly as she passed him.

"Outside," he said and turned the page.

"With Moseley?" Mary asked and started to put some jam on her toast.

"No. She was restless so I thought that I'd let her run around a little."

"Alone?" Mary said alarmed.

Matthew looked up and nodded at her. Mary was up so fast her chair teetered, almost falling over. She hurried towards the door and the garden. A second later he could hear her cry out.

"No! Bad dog."

Matthew shot up and ran after her. He gaped at the sight of destruction. Mary was holding the squirming puppy, both of them covered in dirt. Next to them a large rosebush wobbled dangerously where it had almost been uprooted. Mary glared at him.

"This. Is. Your. Dog." She handed him the puppy and continued inside not waiting for an answer.

Matthew looked at the puppy and the sad remains of what used to be a quite nice flowerbed. Now it had several large holes in it and a rosebush that looked like it needed immediate rescue. With a sigh he walked back inside and towards the kitchen.

* * *

><p>.<p>

After her second bath of the day and dressed in a new outfit, Mary went looking for Matthew. She did not find him in any of the rooms downstairs so she continued to the kitchen. Laughter and splashing water greeted her. She froze in place as she came around the corner. There was Matthew, rolled up shirtsleeves, on the floor, giving the puppy a bath.

"Be a good girl now Rosie," he said and laughed as the dog once again tried to escape.

"Rosie?" Mary said and folded her arms, careful to stay far enough away to avoid needing a third bath of the day.

"It seemed fitting after what she did to Moseley's prize roses," Matthew said, only managing to look a little embarrassed about it.

"It's better than Violet," Mary muttered and entered the kitchen.

"Lady Mary," Mrs. Bird said and nodded at her. "What can I do for you, milady?"

"I'd love a cup of tea and some toast." She shot Matthew a dark look. "My breakfast was rudely interrupted."

Mrs. Bird smiled to herself and grabbed a loaf of bread to make some toast for her mistress.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary found it very endearing how Matthew had bonded with the new puppy. Just like with everything else in life, Matthew approached puppy training with purpose and strategy. Rosie did not always seem to agree with his methods, especially not when more interesting things such as squirrels and birds entered the picture. Still Matthew was determined and with love, patience and a seemingly never-ending supply of treats, he taught the puppy to obey basic commands.

On the days when Matthew did not have to go to Ripon he and Mary would take a short walk right after breakfast. Rosie would come with them and run around chasing squirrels and sticks that Matthew would throw for her. He was teaching her to fetch which was very amusing to Mary. It pleased her how he had taken to the little dog. Rosie adored Matthew and whenever he would scold her she would whine pathetically and then bark happily when he would ruffle her fur and give her a treat.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"Rosie!" Matthew shouted after the happy puppy. "Come here girl."

They hurried after her when she did not come. The dog ran past a few trees seemingly headed directly for Downton.

"Go after her," Mary said and let go of Matthew's arm. "I'll catch up to you."

He nodded and set off after the dog. When Mary eventually caught up with him she let out a soft laughter. Matthew was standing next to her father watching Rosie and Isis. Isis was sniffing the puppy who was hopping around barking happily, wagging her tail. Isis seemed a little hesitant to accept this new member of the pack. Mary took Matthew's hand and smiled at them.

"Good morning, Papa."

"Hello my dear," he said and smiled at her. "I was just praising Matthew on his fine job training Rosie."

"She just took off on us," Mary pointed out with a tiny smirk.

"Darling," Matthew said and tugged at her hand. Mary laughed and kissed his cheek.

Rosie yapped and rolled onto her back, paws in the air. Isis sniffed her and then hopped away when Rosie rolled over. Rosie charged her and Isis hopped aside. Eventually it seemed like the two had figured out that this was actually a pretty fun game.

Mary and Matthew walked next to Lord Grantham back to the big house. The two dogs bounced and played leading the way.

"Is she house broken yet?" Robert asked with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Almost," Matthew said proudly.

"When she is, perhaps you should bring her up on the days when you're here? It would make the two of you bond faster and I think Isis would enjoy the company.

"Thank you, I think I will do that," Matthew said cheerfully.

"At least our roses will be safe," Mary said thoughtfully. "Can't make any promise about Mama's curtains and cushions."

Robert chuckled and patted Matthew's shoulder. "I heard that Moseley managed to save that rosebush."

"Yes, thankfully."

*** L MJC ***

_And now the little family has grown. Moseley's rosebushes are safe (for the time being) and so are Mary's shoes… In __**Chapter 10 **__Mary becomes a bit more assertive. She and Matthew visit the Robinsons together and Matthew gets to see a new side to Mary that he has never seen before. She in turn learns something about him as she watches him interact with the Robinsons. The two continue to grow as a couple, becoming more relaxed, but also more playful together. I hope you will stay with me on this journey! Thank you for reading, and remember that reviews are love!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Rating:** Mature (this chapter has some very explicit sections)

**Mature Language Note:** This is a love story, and it makes use of real sexual words, not crude porn language or childish words. You will see words such as _penis_ and _clitoris_ in this story, though also older references such as _manhood_. If this type of language upsets you, then I assume that you're either not mature enough to engage in activities involving them, or that you have some hang-ups that makes me question if you should read Mature rated stories. These words are as beautiful as the actual body parts and should be treated with the same respect and awe. That's my opinion, and that is my feeling behind using them in the story.

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Mary and Matthew visit the Robinsons together and Matthew gets to experience a new side to Mary that he has never seen before. She in turn learns something about him as she watches him interact with the Robinsons. The two continue to grow as a couple, becoming more relaxed, but also more playful together.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar _

_and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you so much for your reviews and encouragement to continue this. I do realize that not everyone is on board with the journey I've taken Mary on (keeping in mind that this is mid-season one Mary) but it warms my heart that so many of you understand where I'm going with her, and the two of them. _

_The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!), so please feel free to continue to drop me a line._

…

…

**Chapter 10**

Matthew glanced through the gap in the curtains. It was sunny and clear. He could her birds chirping in the trees outside and the natural beauty of it brought a smile to his lips. It was still early. Mary was asleep next to him. He looked down at her and gently caressed a lock of hair away from her cheek. She stirred and sighed but did not wake up. He pulled the sheet up a bit higher over her naked shoulders. She burrowed deeper into the pillow and the sight of her made him chuckle softly. Knowing her habits by now, Matthew was certain that she would not wake up for at least another hour unless he made her. It was Saturday and they had no obligations so he was more than willing to let her sleep. He reached for his book and got comfortable leaning against the headboard, now and then stroking her hair.

Mary stirred and stretched about an hour later. She blinked and smiled when she noticed that he was awake.

"Good morning, darling," she said, her voice still a little hoarse with sleep.

Matthew put his book away and eased down so he could take her in his arms. She snuggled closer burrowing her face against his neck as she slowly woke up.

"Have I ever told you that I love waking up next to you?" he said softly and kissed the top of her head.

"Only every morning or so, but by all means, don't let that stop you," she said, her words muffled a bit against his neck.

Matthew laughed and pulled her closer. He tilted her face up and kissed her. She caressed his cheek and moved closer to him. As always he felt passion stir inside him.

"Nothing new under the sun," she murmured teasingly against his lips. "The beast is awake."

Matthew pulled away and wriggled his eyebrows at her. It made her laugh and he ran his hand over her body, making sure to touch all the little spots that made her toes curl with pleasure. She moaned and stretched, her eyes narrowing. He grinned at her.

"You were saying, darling?" he teased and let go of her.

"Oh do be quiet, Crawley," she muttered and placed a hot open mouth kiss on his neck, sucking gently.

Matthew laughed again. It was a clear sign of her playfulness when she called him by his last name. He tossed the sheet away. Pretending that he did not see his own response to her touch he moved as if getting up.

"Perhaps we should…"

A firm hand on his chest pushed him back down. Matthew chuckled and covered her hand. Mary sat up and made a face at him.

"You are not going anywhere," she said huskily. "Not for at least an hour."

Matthew raised an amused eyebrow and then pulled her down on top of him. She laughed and he kissed her as his fingers stroked over secret places again. Pulling her up further he moved until their bodies could join. She sat up and tossed her head back as she gasped with pleasure. Her chest was a little flushed and he found it beautiful. Matthew ran his hands over her breasts, teasing her nipples knowing how much she enjoyed it. She was moving fast above him and he gasped at the tingles that rippled through his body. He moved his hands to her hips pulling her down firmer and faster. When his thumb found her little spot she cried out softly and her thighs squeezed around his hips.

"Mary!" he exclaimed as he pushed inside her as he went over the edge.

"Oh God, oh God," she whimpered as she trembled, so close to cresting.

He pulled at her nipple and circled her spot watching as she let go. Her eyes were shut tightly and she shook above him, squeezing him hard as she rode out her orgasm. Feeling the change in her as she started to come down he took her hands and eased her down against his chest, holding her tightly as they basked in the aftermath.

"Matthew," she whispered after a long moment.

"Um, hmm?"

"Have I ever told you that I love waking up next to you?"

Matthew laughed and hugged her tighter. She looked up at him and grinned. He kissed her and made an unhappy sound when she started to slide off him.

"We really should get up, you know," she said and rolled her eyes at the look on his face.

"It's Saturday," he muttered. "I should be allowed to spend the entire day in bed with my alluring wife, if I so desire."

"_Alluring_?" she drawled and her eyebrow hiked up in amusement.

"Most definitely alluring," he mumbled and kissed her breast.

"Perhaps you would consider going for a ride with your _alluring_ wife?" she said with a teasing smirk.

"I could do that," he said and nodded enthusiastically. "Will said wife be wearing something scandalous and very revealing?"

"Matthew!" she said and glared at him, her face slightly flushed. "Of course not."

"Ah, too bad," he said and sighed.

"You're terrible. Perhaps I should talk to your mother about it…" she said as if thinking out loud.

"Definitely not!" he exclaimed, horrified at the thought.

Mary laughed and rested her chin on his chest. "You know I would never do that."

"I think I do," he said and his eyes narrowed playfully as he tapped her on the nose.

"But you're not sure?" she asked. He shook his head. "Good!' she said and laughed at the look on his face.

"So where did you plan on taking me today?"

"Nowhere in particular," she said and smiled. "I just wanted to spend some time with my two favorite men."

"Diamond and… me?" he teased.

"Yes," she said and rolled her eyes at him again. "You're impossible, Matthew."

"Do you think we could pay the Robinsons a visit?"

"I suppose we could," she said and nodded. "Any particular reason why?"

"I just want to thank them for Rosie. I've only met Jim Robinson once, and it was very brief. From what you've told me, they appear to be very kind and honorable people. That's exactly the kind of tenants we should have on the estate."

"They are," she confirmed.

"All right then, Mrs. Crawley, up with ye," he said and playfully smacked her bottom.

She yelped and laughed. "That's _Lady_ Mary Crawley to you, _Sir_," she said smugly and slipped out of bed.

She sauntered over to her vanity, holding his gaze in the mirror. She smirked as he swallowed hard at the sight of her. Putting on a little show she stretched and leaned her head back, humming happily when her hair brushed over her buttocks. A squeak behind her told her that he was out of bed. She smiled at him over her shoulder and her eyebrows shot up at the sight of his arousal.

"Again? Honestly Mr. Crawley, you would think that… oh!"

Matthew pulled her hard against him and crushed their lips together. She clutched his shoulders and brushed against him. Turning her around, he ran his hands over her, playing with her breasts, teasing between her legs until she was trembling. He placed her hands flat against the vanity and stroked her back all the way down to her buttocks. She whimpered softly as he nudged her legs apart and then pushed against her. He groaned with pleasure as he entered her fully in one stroke. With a firm grip on her hips he picked up the pace. Looking up he watched her face in the mirror and it made his arousal intensify. He cupped her breast and spoke her name.

"Open your eyes, darling," he whispered. "Watch us."

She did and their eyes met in the mirror. Her eyes were almost black, filled with passion. She whimpered and bit her lip as he stroked between her legs. She was so close. A few more strokes and they were there. He fought to keep his eyes open, and from the looks of it she was doing the same. Her legs shook and he struggled to keep them both upright. Feeling for the chair behind him he sat down heavily, pulling her down on his lap, still connected in passion. She leaned her head back, resting it on his shoulder. He kissed her neck, stroking her stomach in soft circles.

"God, Matthew," she groaned. "Can we go back to bed? I'm exhausted."

Matthew chuckled and nodded. "Perhaps a bath would make you feel refreshed?"

"Mmm," she sighed and squirmed in his lap. "I can still feel you."

"Stop squirming," he hissed. "I can't go another round right now."

"Is that a challenge?" she teased.

"It's a fact," he admitted with a soft huff.

Mary giggled and moved her hips again before sliding off his lap. She walked over to where he had dropped his robe the night before and tossed it to him.

"I'm going to ring for Anna so you better cover yourself," she said with a teasing smile. "I don't want her to run screaming from seeing you like that."

"It would be most inappropriate," he agreed.

He struggled to his feet and slipped into the robe. "I think I need a bath too, come to think of it."

Mary, now dressed in her nightgown wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly.

"I will see you downstairs for breakfast."

He smiled and nodded as he left the room.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary laughed as Bonnie barked and wagged her tail when she and Matthew entered the Robinsons' yard. Jim Robinson came towards them smiling in welcome.

"Lady Mary, Mr. Crawley, welcome."

Matthew got down and shook Jim's hand in greeting before helping Mary down.

"Lady Mary!"

Mary turned and a second later a grinning Billy slammed into her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She laughed and hugged him close.

"Billy!" his father said sternly. "That is no way to greet a lady."

"Sorry da," Billy muttered and took a step back glancing up at Mary.

Mary smiled at him and caressed his hair. He laughed and took her hand. Matthew chuckled at the sight of the little boy with Mary and suddenly he could not wait for them to have a child of their own.

"Billy, this is my husband, Mr. Crawley," Mary said and turned them both to face Matthew.

"Hello Mr. Crawley," Billy said and eyed Matthew cautiously.

"Hello Billy," Matthew said and smiled at the boy.

"Good Lord in heaven! Lady Mary, welcome."

Mary and Matthew turned at the sound of Anne Robinson's voice behind them. The flustered woman came rushing out of the cottage and grabbed her son sending him inside with a gentle smack on his bum. He just grinned.

"Anne, this is my husband, Mr. Crawley."

Matthew smiled and took Anne's hand. She blushed and laughed nervously.

"Mr. Crawley, 'tis an honor."

"The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Robinson."

"Oh, please call me Anne." She gestured towards the cottage. "Please come in. I'm sorry but I'm in the middle of baking and I need to make sure I don't burn 'em loaves."

Mary smiled and nodded. With Matthew in tow, Mary followed Anne inside the cottage.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary laughed at Matthew sitting across from her at the rustic kitchen table in the Robinsons' cottage. He was playing the harmonica, much to Billy's delight. She had no idea that Matthew even could play. It turned out that he apparently had learned while at university. She reached for her mug and took another sip of the cider. Billy clapped and cheered as Matthew finished.

"Here you go," Matthew said and gave him the instrument back. "With some practice I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Thanks, Mr. Crawley," Billy said in a faint voice.

Mary smiled and stroked his hair. If Billy had been fascinated with her the first time he met her, it was nothing compared to his infatuation with Matthew. He had fingered Matthew's jacket and his hat, while studying him for long quiet moments as they sat by the table in the kitchen.

Billy stepped closer to Mary and looked up at her. He chewed on his lip and she arched her eyebrow in question. He giggled and she did it again.

"What is it?" she whispered.

He reached up, standing on his tippy toes, to whisper in her ear. Mary made a face and tried not to laugh.

"Why don't you ask Matthew yourself?" she said and smiled at Billy.

Billy eyed Matthew very carefully. Matthew grinned and waved Billy over. Billy cautiously walked over and stood in front of Matthew looking very serious. Matthew put his hand on Billy's shoulder and leaned down.

"Now let us have a man-to-man, Billy," Matthew said and winked at him. Billy grinned and nodded. "What did you want to ask me?"

"Are ye really going to be the next lord of 'e big house?"

"I'm afraid so," Matthew said with a heavy sigh. Billy giggled. "Luckily for me I have Lady Mary to help me out. I'm still learning how to be an earl. It's not as easy as it looks, I can assure you."

Billy covered his mouth and stared at Matthew, trying not to laugh. "Ye look like a gentleman," he pointed out to Matthew.

"Course he does," Anne exclaimed and shot her son a stern look. "Mr. Crawley _is_ a gentleman."

"Perhaps," Mary mused. Matthew looked at her and she laughed. She gestured to him. "Matthew, darling you're in your shirtsleeves, drinking ale from a tankard, no necktie, not even cufflinks."

"I still think he looks mighty fine, Lady Mary," Billy said, taking Matthew's side.

"Good man, Billy," Matthew said and patted the boy's shoulder.

Billy grinned at Matthew.

"Here we are," Anne said and put down a plate with thick slices of bread, warm from the oven and slathered in rich butter. Another plate with cheese and ham joined the first one a moment later. Anne beckoned Billy over and handed him a plate to take outside to his father. The boy ran off, only slightly upset at having to leave his new idol.

Mary put a large piece of bread and some cheese on her plate. Matthew watched in fascination as his wife, the regal Lady Mary took a bite of the warm bread, butter landing on her chin. She smiled and wiped it off, but her lips and chin were still shining from the warm butter. Matthew just stared at her.

"Just go ahead and kiss the girl," Anne said and rolled her eyes.

Matthew turned beet red and he looked away. "I… eh."

"I know she's a lady, 'n all o' that," Anne said and folded her arms giving Matthew a look. "But she's also a girl who right now looks like she'd very much like a kiss from 'er husband."

Mary blushed and licked her lip nervously. Anne was right. When Matthew had looked at her she could see the passion in his eyes and it made her heart flutter. She took another small bite and the same thing happened. Anne chuckled and turned her back at them. Matthew shot up from his seat and leaned across and kissed Mary, sucking her lower lip into his mouth, tasting the butter on her warm lips. He nibbled and sucked on her lips for a brief moment before letting go of her and taking his seat again.

Mary reached for her cider and took a large sip trying to cool down. It did not seem to work. She still felt flustered.

Matthew slowly ate a piece of cheese and took a bite of his bread all while watching the emotions on Mary's face.

"This is delicious," he said and smiled at Anne.

"It certainly is," Mary agreed. She smiled at Anne. "I admit I've never actually had bread like this, directly from the oven."

"It's the best!" Billy said and grinned, butter all over his chin and mouth. He had barely sat down before taking a big bite of the bread his mother had put on his plate.

Mary laughed and wiped his face. He laughed at her. Matthew watched them with a dreamy look on his face. Anne nodded to herself. Mr. Crawley and Lady Mary would make fine parents some day.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"'ave ye thought of havin' children, m'lady?" Anne said to Mary as the two sat talking by the table.

Mary glanced at Matthew who was playing with Billy on the floor, building something that vaguely resembled a railroad for Billy's train.

"Of course." She looked up at Anne and smiled a little, though her eyes were still serious. "Matthew is the heir. It is expected of me that I give him a son."

Anne gently touched Mary's arm. "Perhaps, but once you hold your baby for the first time, m'lady, you will not think 'bout it like that."

"I guess you're right," Mary said and sighed.

"I know what they say about your lot havin' children 'n such," Anne said and sighed. "Don't let 'em take yer children away to be raised by nannies, milady. Spend as much time with 'em as ye can. They will be gone sooner than ye know it."

Mary met Anne's blue eyes and thought about her words. "It is unusual, and it will be frowned upon, but I will consider your advice."

"I wouldn't want other people to raise my son for nuthin'," Anne said. "Just thinking of so many things I'd miss. His first steps, the first time he said mama. The knowledge that it's me that he runs to when he's hurt or sad. That I'm the one he'll allow to make things right."

Mary swallowed, feeling tears in her eyes. She grasped Anne's hand and nodded in understanding. Thinking back to her own childhood she realized that much of what Anne was saying did not apply to her and her sisters. There had always been Nanny, or Carson. Mary smiled at the thought of the old butler.

"And you've done a wonderful job. He is a sweet boy."

Anne nodded. "He is."

Matthew got up and returned to the table with Billy in tow. He sat down and took a sip of his ale.

"So Billy, do you know your ABCs?" Matthew asked and tried to sound stern, but his twinkling eyes betrayed him.

"I do, Mr. Matthew," Billy said quickly.

"Good boy," Matthew said and ruffled his hair. "Do you go to the village school?"

Billy shook his head and looked at his mother.

"I've been teaching 'im," Anne said softly. She smiled apologetically at Matthew. "The school is too far away. He's too young to walk on 'is own. I'm afraid we can't spare the time to walk him to and from school."

"I see," Matthew said and sighed. "I can't say that I approve. He is a bright boy and being in school with other children would be good for him."

Anne nodded. "I just can't see how it could happen."

Matthew looked thoughtful and then sighed and smiled at Anne. "Perhaps we'll find a way."

Billy moved closer to Mary. She put her arm around him and he smiled at her as he jumped up on her lap.

"You're very pretty," he said and grinned at her.

"Thank you, Billy," she said and kissed his cheek.

"Hold on there young man, that's my wife you're flirting with," Matthew said in a playful stern voice.

Billy giggled and glanced at Mary. "Don't you think she's pretty, Mr. Matthew?" he asked and bit his lip.

"She is very pretty," Matthew agreed.

"Oh do stop it you two," Mary muttered and made a face.

Billy laughed and reached for a biscuit.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew was thoughtful on the way back. Mary let him be, knowing that he would talk to her once he had gathered his thoughts.

It was late in the day when they handed their tired horses over to two of the stable hands. Mary walked next to Matthew, picking up the pace a little as she was looking forward to getting home and more specifically to having a bath. She stopped when she realized that he was no longer by her side. She turned and looked for him. Matthew was standing by one of the smaller boxes. Mary smiled when she spotted the pony inside. She returned to Matthew's side and looked questioning at him.

"Matthew, is everything all right?"

"Whose horse is this?" he asked.

"Papa's. Well, the estate's really. Surely you must be aware that we have a few extra horses for guests and when one of the regular ones is unavailable. The ponies are for any visiting children," she explained and then sighed. "Unfortunately it's been a while since we had children visiting last. They must get awfully bored only getting to run around in a circle in the paddock."

"Do you think Robert would let the Robinsons care for one of the ponies for a while?"

Mary's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I honestly don't know. Why don't you ask him? I would say it's in the estate's best interest that Billy goes to school. With an education he is better prepared to take over for his father some day."

Matthew laughed and nodded. Of course she would figure it out. He put his arm around her waist.

"I am so lucky to have a wife who is both beautiful and intelligent."

"And don't you forget it, Crawley," Mary muttered and then laughed as he kissed her cheek.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Matthew held Mary close and slowly ran his hand over her side and hip. She looked up at him and he kissed her softly, too tired for anything more passionate. A tiny tremble went through her and he smiled at her lingering response to their recent lovemaking. Kicking the sheet closer he pulled it up and over their cooling bodies.

"I know we have not talked much about it," he said a little hesitantly. He looked her in the eyes before he continued. "Seeing you with Billy made me realize that you would be a wonderful mother."

Mary smiled and sighed. "I do want to have a child with you, Matthew. After all, it is expected of us."

"I know that, and that's not what I was about to ask," he said and stroked her cheek. "I wanted to know about your preference."

Mary just looked at him for a long moment. She traced his eyebrow and his nose, feeling the slight stubble on his cheeks and chin before she met his eyes again.

"I am happy with you as it is. I don't feel the need to have a child to be complete. That doesn't mean that I don't want any. I do. I think your children would be beautiful, Matthew."

He chuckled and kissed her. "Our children," he corrected her softly. "And yes they would, because if I have any say in the matter, they will all look like their mother."

Mary laughed and wrapped her arms around him when he rolled her over.

"You're insatiable," she gasped as his lips closed around her nipple. "You'll have me pregnant in no time."

Matthew chuckled and looked up at her. "Perhaps you already are?"

She just stared at him. "I never thought about that," she whispered. "It is entirely possible I guess."

Matthew sat up and placed his palm on her stomach. "Do you feel any different?"

She shook her head. "I really don't. Not that I know what it feels like to be pregnant."

"I guess I have to try harder then," he teased and his hand stroked down her thigh.

Mary laughed and then gasped as his fingers touched her. Her eyes fluttered shut and her body quivered under his touch.

"I guess you should," she whispered.

Matthew did not answer; his lips were already busy doing just that.

* * *

><p>.<p>

"I was wondering," Matthew said and turned to Robert.

"Yes?" Robert looked up from the ledger he was updating.

"Mary and I went over to the Robinsons' farm yesterday. I wanted to thank them personally for the puppy and to see what they've done with the place. Mary has been speaking so highly of them so I was very eager to see it."

Robert smiled and nodded. "Jim Robinson is one of our best tenants."

"He has a son, did you know that?" Matthew said quickly.

"Yes, Mary told me."

"He's a bright lad," Matthew said and smiled at the memory. "I think he might be a little in love with Mary actually. Not that I blame him."

Robert laughed again and shook his head. "I guess not. Do I need to worry?"

"Not for many years at least. He's only six," Matthew said with a grin.

"Good, good."

"Anyway, they are unable to send Billy to school in the village because it is too far."

"Ah," Robert said and nodded. "They are on the northern outskirts so I can see that."

"They only have one horse and Jim needs it for the farm," Matthew explained. "I was wondering if you might consider letting them use one of the ponies. According to Mary no one hardly ever rides them."

Robert leaned back in his seat and looked at Matthew. "Interesting thought. You've taken an interest in this boy."

"I have," Matthew confirmed.

"Matthew," Robert said, weighing his words carefully. "I know that you have only been married for a short period of time, but trust me, you will have children of your own soon."

"I know," Matthew said and smiled. "I still want to help the Robinsons. I firmly believe that educating the children of our tenants is in our best interest."

"Perhaps." Robert was not completely in agreement but he could tell that the issue was important to Matthew. "If you think it would make a difference, I have no issue with you letting them keep one of our ponies. Let them know that we will provide the feed."

"Thank you," Matthew said and smiled.

*** L MJC ***

Do you think that the Robinsons have helped getting Lady Mary a bit more "grounded"? Is she and Matthew ready to become parents? How close to a little Crawley in the nursery are we? Hang in there and you'll find out :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Rating:** Mature (this chapter has some explicit parts)

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: Mary makes a discovery which will change their lives forever. How will Matthew react? The rest of the family? After some scheming and plotting with Anna, involving quite a lot of giggling, Mary presents the news to Matthew.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar _

_and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you so much for your reviews and encouragement to continue this. It warms my heart that so many of you understand where I'm going with Lady Mary, well the two of them really. _

_The posting/revising happens faster with feedback (it's a fact!), so please feel free to continue to drop me a line._

…

…

**Chapter 11**

Mary woke up with a start. Her stomach was churning. She barely had time to get her dressing gown on before she was out the door, rushing past a surprised Anna to dart into the bathroom. Anna sighed and followed her. She entered and knelt next to Lady Mary, tenderly gathering her hair and stroking her back as her mistress emptied her stomach.

"Milady," Anna said softly a while later when Mary's stomach had finally settled and she had refreshed herself.

"Yes Anna?"

"Please let me send for the doctor."

Mary sighed and nodded. "I guess you are right. I am sure it is nothing."

"You have been sick almost every morning this week," Anna pointed out. "I think it is time for the doctor to confirm your situation."

"What are you saying, Anna?" Mary said and held on to the sink as she felt a little dizzy again.

"I think you are with child, milady," Anna said with a big grin.

"Pregnant?" Mary gasped. Her eyes met Anna's in the mirror. Mary blushed and turned around. "Pregnant," she whispered and then laughed. She took Anna's hand. "Oh, Anna, do you really think so?"

"The signs are all there, milady."

Mary nodded slowly and sighed. She grinned and Anna wondered what she was thinking. She knew that smile, and normally it meant nothing good.

"Let us wait until my husband leaves for work before calling Dr. Clarkson. I do not wish to worry Matthew for nothing. You know he will get upset if he gets word of that I asked for the doctor."

"Certainly, milady."

* * *

><p>.<p>

The doctor had confirmed that she was indeed with child. He had given her some advice on what to eat and drink, and cautioned against vigorous exercise and excessive intake of alcohol. Mary nodded even though his words did not quite register. She was still in shock over the news. When the doctor left, Anna had helped her get dressed and she had come downstairs.

"Dear God," Mary said to herself. "I am going to have a baby. We are going to be a family."

The thought was mindboggling, thrilling and frightening at the same time. Needing something to do, Mary went back upstairs, heading down the hallway to the spare bedroom. Inside was a mix of unused furniture and old chests. She went over to the one her mother had given her shortly after her wedding. Kneeling in front of it she carefully opened it. Inside, neatly folded and covered in tissue paper were all of Mary's baby clothes. She picked up a small dress and smiled, wondering how she had ever fit into it. Going through the items, one by one she touched the soft cotton and silk. She found a few toys, including a small lamb that she remembered cherishing as a child. The fluffy white stuffed animal had beautiful blue eyes and a silk ribbon around its neck. She stroked the soft fur and lost herself in memories of her childhood.

"Lady Mary?" Anna said softly from the door.

Mary looked up and smiled at her. "Anna. Come in."

Anna crossed the floor and hunched down next to Mary. "Oh," she sighed when she saw the tiny outfits in the chest.

"You never knew me as a child," Mary said and smiled fondly at Anna. "Apparently I was once this tiny," she mused and held up a little shirt.

"It is precious," Anna whispered.

"Since I was the oldest, these things were set aside for me, and not handed down to my sisters," Mary explained.

"I'm sure that you looked adorable in this," Anna said and grinned as she held up the little dress Mary had admired earlier. "White has always been a good color on you."

"Thank you Anna," Mary said fondly. She touched Anna's arm. "I wanted to find something that I could give to my husband to let him know."

Anna giggled at the thought. "Like a clue?"

"Something like that," Mary said and nodded.

Together they went through the chest, separating the outfits into piles by size and season. It turned out that the bottom was filled with tiny shoes. Mary stared down at the neatly arranged little shoes.

"It is like watching a significant part of your life, yet not remembering any of it," she said and sighed. "I don't remember ever wearing these shoes, yet look at them," she said and gestured at the row of shoes.

Anna nodded. "They are arranged by size."

"Exactly! Baby Mary, toddler Mary, learning to walk…"

Anna touched Mary's hand and Mary clutched it in hers. "Either your feet grew fast, or you didn't walk much," she teased.

"Anna," Mary said and made a face at her, but then laughed.

Anna picked up a tiny little black shoe and turned it over. "Look at it. It's hardly scuffed at all."

"Perhaps Mama only kept the nice ones?" Mary suggested.

"True. You must've had more."

"Are you saying that even as a toddler I had a fondness for shoes?" Mary asked amused.

Anna laughed and nodded. "What I meant was that perhaps your mother started it. You must've been so adorable. I can see why she would want to dress you up."

"Like a little doll," Mary said and made a face.

"No," Anna said, her eyes twinkled. "Because you are special, milady. Their first daughter, and at the time, their only child."

Mary sighed and nodded. She smiled fondly at Anna. "Thank you. I know that they love me, and I am sure that you are right. My mother has a tendency to overdo things when she gets excited."

"So what will you give to Mr. Matthew?"

Mary glanced at the various items and her eyes fell on a silver rattle with a white ribbon tied around it. She picked it up and held it up to Anna.

"Mary Josephine Crawley," Anna read the engraving.

"What do you think?" Mary said and grinned. She shook the rattle and it made a beautiful sound.

"It's perfect!" Anna said. Then she looked eagerly at Mary. "If I may make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

Anna quickly told Mary her idea in a hushed voice. Mary laughed and nodded.

"Anna, you are a treasure. I would never have thought up something as brilliant as that."

"You go ahead, milady. I will put everything back here."

"Thank you Anna," Mary said and smiled fondly at her.

Anna nodded and watched her leave before carefully returning the baby garments to the chest.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary sat through dinner with Matthew that evening barely holding it together. She asked about his day, and listened intently as he told her about a new client.

As the meal neared its end, Moseley came in with a plate covered in a silver dome. He glanced at Mary and she nodded. He put it down in front of Matthew who looked up in surprise.

"What is this?"

"Why don't you take a look?" Mary said, looking innocent.

Matthew's eyes narrowed a little and a smile lurked in the corner of his mouth. "You are up to something," he said and grabbed the handle. "It won't jump out at me, will it?"

Mary laughed and shook her head. She heard the click of the door confirming that Moseley had left them alone to share this special moment. Making a mental note to thank him later, Mary watched Matthew in eager anticipation.

Matthew took a deep breath and removed the dome. He looked down at the plate. There on a crisp white cloth with a lacy edge rested the silver rattle. He put the dome down and picked it up. Noticing the inscription he held it closer.

"Mary Josephine Crawley," he read. He looked up at Mary. "This was yours!"

She nodded.

"Mary?" he whispered. "What are you saying?"

She grinned at him and held out her hand to him. "What do you think?"

"I don't know if I dare voice my hope," he said. "Is it really what I think it is?"

"I am pregnant," she whispered.

"Oh God, Mary," he whispered and got up. He cupped her face and kissed her. "I cannot tell you how happy I am," he whispered and kissed her again.

Mary got up and they went in the other room. He pulled her down next to him on the sofa and wrapped his arm around her. Matthew asked a million questions and she told him everything. She laughed and assured him that she was fine and that he did not have to put her on bed rest quite yet. He looked at her suspiciously.

"You must promise to take care of yourself," he said seriously. "You are the most important thing in my life, Mary. You know that."

"And this new little person," Mary whispered and placed his hand on her stomach.

He sighed and smiled. "Yes."

"How long do you think we can keep it a secret? Do you even want to?" she asked.

"I am guessing probably tomorrow morning. Perhaps Moseley has already called Carson."

Mary covered her mouth and stared at him. "I hope not. I wish to tell Carson myself."

Matthew smiled and nodded. "I was not really serious. No one here will spoil the surprise for you. That I am certain of."

* * *

><p>.<p>

A little after breakfast the next morning Matthew and Mary strolled up to the big house. It was a crisp autumn day and by the time they reached the house Mary's cheeks glowed a lovely pink. She smiled at Matthew and he felt warm inside at the sight.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world," he said in awe.

"Oh Matthew," she whispered and hugged his arm a little.

Thomas opened the door for them and took their coats. Mary smiled warmly at Carson as he escorted them to the library. Allowing Matthew to enter first she pulled Carson aside.

"Carson, would you ask Mrs. Hughes to come up. We have something to share that we would like her to hear too, the both of you in fact," Mary said in a hushed voice.

"Very well, milady."

Carson walked back downstairs with a little more bounce in his step and collected a much surprised Mrs. Hughes.

Matthew and Mary were sitting calmly next to each other on the sofa talking to Lady Grantham when the two entered quietly and waited by the door.

"Carson, Mrs. Hughes, I am glad that you could join us," Matthew said cheerfully.

Cora frowned and Robert got up from his seat and came closer.

"What's the matter?" he asked and looked straight at Matthew.

"Mary?" Matthew said and took her hand, smiling fondly at her.

Mary looked at her father and then at her mother, shooting Carson a quick glance. "Mama, Papa… I am with child."

Cora squealed and rushed over to Mary, cupping her face, beaming at her daughter. "Such wonderful news. Congratulations, both of you."

"I am delighted for you," Robert said and patted Matthew's shoulder.

Mary looked over at Carson and Mrs. Hughes. "I wanted you to hear it from us first. Please, do not feel that you must keep it a secret."

They nodded. "If I may," Carson said seriously. "I would like to say congratulations from all of us downstairs."

"Thank you Carson," Matthew said and smiled at him.

"Lord Grantham?" Carson said and turned his eyes to Robert. "Shall I make a phone call to the Dower House?"

In their eagerness to tell Mary's parents, they had forgotten about the Dowager Countess.

"Please do Carson," Robert said, smiling.

Carson nodded and he and Mrs. Hughes slipped out again.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mary whimpered and froze as she peaked. She could feel Matthew move behind her and she pushed back against him. A moment later he lowered her leg and sank down on his back, spent. She slowly followed, a hand resting on her stomach.

Matthew eased up on his elbow and stroked her belly, chuckling when he felt a tiny kick. "I think we woke the little one."

Mary smiled and covered his hand. "I really don't mind."

He lost himself in thought over what had transpired during these last few months. Their marriage was as close to perfect as it could be, he thought. Then her angry words uttered to him on their wedding night came to him and he looked sadly at her.

"Darling, you once told me that when you give me an heir we would no longer…" he could not make himself say it.

"Matthew," she said and stroked his arm affectionately. He looked at her. God, her eyes were dark and soulful. "Those words were uttered out of fear and resentment of the situation. I thought you knew that. I have no desire whatsoever to stop being intimate with you."

"Thank you," he whispered and kissed her fiercely.

She clung to him and whimpered when he stroked between her legs again. She bucked up against him when he circled her clitoris. Then he slipped out of her arms to stand next to the bed. He grabbed her by the hips and tugged her closer to the edge. She raised her lower body to allow him to slide a pillow under her buttocks before pushing her legs up. He sank into her achingly slowly and their sighs mixed at the sheer pleasure of it. As hurried as their earlier coupling had been, this one was slow and deliciously sweet.

Mary fell asleep with a smile on her lips and her husband's arm wrapped securely around her and the baby.

*** L MJC ***

The story will be concluded in the **Epilogue**. Yes, there will be a baby, and Matthew will be frazzled and frantic as he (like most men in this situation) feels quite useless during Mary's labor. Luckily Lord Grantham is there to handle the situation. With some gentle words of advice and a firm hand, Lord Grantham prevents Matthew from rushing to Mary's side, instead dragging the reluctant father to be out for a walk on the estate.


	12. Epilogue

**Rating:** PG

**Spoilers**: all seasons. AU where Kemal Pamuk did not enter the picture. Set during Season One, before the war. In this story Matthew proposed much earlier and Richard Carlisle entered the picture earlier too.

**Summary**: We pick up a few months into the future. Matthew is a frazzled and frantic father-to-be who feels quite useless as his wife struggles through labor. Luckily Lord Grantham is there to handle the situation. With some gentle words of advice and a firm hand, Lord Grantham prevents Matthew from rushing to Mary's side, instead dragging the reluctant first time father out for a walk on the estate.

_Special thank you to the lovely Tambear for catching missing commas, odd grammar _

_and offering excellent suggestions & advice!_

…

_Thank you so much for your reviews and encouragement to continue this. The story has come to an end and I want to thank each and every one of you who have stayed with me through the ups and downs. I've enjoyed writing this and I hope that you've enjoyed reading it. _

_Feel free to drop me a final line to let me know what your thoughts are on the entire story._

…

…

**Epilogue**

"Why am I not allowed in there?" Matthew demanded to know.

"Because she does not want you to see her like this," Robert said patiently.

"I don't care!" Matthew said agitated.

"She does," Robert tried again. "Child birth is a messy business, Matthew. No woman wants her husband to watch her go through it."

"There is absolutely nothing that I cannot handle when it comes to Mary," Matthew argued. He glared at Robert. "I want to be there for her."

"You are, my boy," Robert said and smiled at him. He patted Matthew's shoulder. "Cora is with her and Anna. Mary will be fine."

"But what if something happens?" Matthew said with a heavy sigh. "I can't…" he said and stared at Robert.

"Matthew," he said and grabbed Matthew's arm. "Nothing will happen. Dr. Clarkson told me that everything was perfectly normal. The midwife said the same thing. She's my eldest daughter, Matthew. I would not let anything happen to her, could I prevent it."

"Thank you," Matthew said and sighed.

"Come, let's take a walk. I have some thoughts about the cottages that I would greatly value your input on."

"But, what if..?"

"Matthew," Robert said and smiled at his son-in-law. "It will be hours before the baby arrives. We won't walk far. I promise that you will be back in time. Mama is coming up for luncheon and we will all be with you until the baby arrives."

"Very well," Matthew said with another heavy sigh.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Mathew walked next to his father-in-law, deep in thought about how his and Mary's life was about to change. He was looking forward to it, but he was also nervous about it. Would they be any good at it? He sighed heavily. Rosie barked up ahead drawing his attention away from his worries. Rosie and Isis were running around chasing each other and playing together. Rosie was still smaller than Isis, but compared to when he first got her she had grown a lot.

Matthew shaded his eyes as he saw a rider approach. A very small rider he noted, then his face lit up in recognition.

"Billy!" He waved at the boy.

Lord Grantham looked at Matthew and then at the boy on the pony. "Is this the boy who has been taking care of one of our ponies?"

"Yes it is," Matthew confirmed.

Billy pulled the horse to a complete stop and grinned at them.

"Hello, Mr. Matthew."

"It is very nice to see you Billy. Are you on your way home from school? Seems a bit early for that I admit. You're not ill, are you?"

"Not at all, Mr. Matthew. We only had half a day today," he said and grinned. He eyed Robert and quickly figured out who he was. "Thank you for Misty, Lord Grantham. She's a very nice pony. She just loves to run. I haven't been late to school even once." He stroked the pony's neck and she moved her head up and down.

"You're most welcome. Seems you have been looking after her well," Robert said with a smile. "How are your father and mother?"

"Very well, your lordship," Billy said quickly, somewhat intimidated by talking to the Earl of Grantham.

"Please give them my regards."

"Aye, your lordship."

"How do you like school?" Matthew asked him.

"It is a lot of fun, but also hard, Mr. Matthew," the boy said and made a face.

"I am sorry to say, Billy, that I can't tell you that it will get any easier, quite the opposite I'm afraid, but you're a smart boy. You'll do well."

"Thank you, Mr. Matthew." Billy tilted his head and looked at Matthew. "Where's Lady Mary?"

"Oh… well," Matthew ran his hand over his chin, uncertain what to tell the boy.

"She's at the house," Robert butted in. "Matthew and my daughter are about to become parents."

"Honest?" he exclaimed and stared at Matthew.

Matthew laughed at the look on the boy's face. "Yes Billy. Mary is about to have a baby."

"Gosh, Mr. Matthew. That's brilliant!"

Matthew chuckled and shook his head. "Thank you. Please let your mother know. I know that Lady Mary wanted to visit her to get the recipe for your mother's lovely biscuits, but she has not been able to ride for a while."

"Don't worry, Mr. Matthew. I'll tell her. Perhaps I can bring it to her once mum writes it down?" He made a face. "I better get home, or mum will wonder where I am. I'm supposed to help with the lambs you see. Please say hello to Lady Mary and the baby."

"I will," Matthew said and patted Billy's leg. "You be careful now. No jumping over things bigger than you."

Billy grinned and nodded. "Promise, Mr. Matthew."

Lord Grantham placed his hand on Matthew's shoulder as the two watched Billy Robinson take off on the pony. Robert squeezed gently.

"You'll be a wonderful father, Matthew."

"You really think so?" Matthew said in surprise. "I confess the thought both amazes and scares me."

Robert chuckled. "Like most men before you. Don't worry. You'll get a hang of it." Robert leaned closer and lowered his voice. "Just pray that you won't have three girls. They will take over your life. You will love it, but you will also realize that you will never ever be in control again."

Matthew chuckled. "The sound of three beautiful little girls in the nursery does sound quite appealing I must say, but I get your point."

"I know that Mary doesn't want a nanny," Robert said and made a face. "I honestly don't think she knows what she's setting herself up for, but she will figure it out sooner or later. Still, I think it would be a good idea for you to get someone to help Mary out. I know she has Anna, but Anna can't be counted on to look after the baby on a whim when Mary is needed elsewhere. Also, now that Bates is back again she is not living with you."

"I will talk to Mary. We have talked about hiring another maid. Perhaps looking after the baby could be included in her duties?"

"Sounds reasonable."

"How long has it been now?" Matthew said and looked over his shoulder at the house.

"An hour. It will be a while still," Robert said and smiled. "It is getting closer to luncheon so perhaps we should head back."

Matthew nodded and called Rosie, who came running with Isis in tow. He picked up a stick and threw it for the dog. Rosie ran after it with a happy bark. Matthew laughed and shook his head. When Rosie brought the stick back he praised the happy dog and then threw the stick again.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Anna quietly entered the library and stood by the door waiting for someone to notice her. She smiled when Lord Grantham met her eyes.

"Anna!" he exclaimed.

"Is something wrong?" Matthew interrupted.

Anna shook her head. "I think, Mr. Crawley that you should probably go upstairs now. There's someone up there who would like to meet you."

"Well?" Robert asked impatiently.

"I promised Lady Mary not to tell," she said and smiled apologetically.

Robert huffed and leaned against the nearest chair. Matthew rushed by Anna and ran upstairs taking the stairs two at the time, too impatient to think about proper decorum. Not until he reached Mary's room did he stop. Catching his breath he tugged at his waistcoat and ran his hand through his hair before knocking on the door. It opened immediately and Lady Grantham smiled at him.

"Come in Matthew. I know Mary is eager to see you."

Matthew nodded and stepped into the dimly lit room. His attention immediately turned to Mary on the bed. She was half sitting up, leaning against several pillows. In her arms she held something very small which was tightly wrapped in a soft blanket. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Matthew," she whispered.

He quickly crossed the floor to her side and gently eased down on the bed. He caressed her cheek and smiled at her. A soft little noise made him look down. A tiny little pink face and dark soulful eyes looked up at him.

"Meet your son, Matthew," Mary said and laughed at the look on Matthew's face.

"His eyes," Matthew gasped and looked up at her. "They are just like yours."

Mary smiled and nodded. "Perhaps his sister or brother will have yours?"

Matthew nodded, warmed by the thought that she wanted another child. He looked up when he heard the door click behind him. The room was now empty, except for him, Mary and the baby. He leaned forward and kissed her.

"In the very beginning, when we were still… _distant_," he sighed sadly. "One night you kissed my cheek as you said good night. It was the first time that I felt that you actually did not mind sleeping next to me."

"Oh Matthew," she whispered and took his hand.

"When you fell asleep in my arms that night, I spoke to you. You were so beautiful and you felt so perfect in my arms. I told you how much I loved you, and how I wished that we would one day have a child that looked just like you."

Tears were falling down Mary's pale cheeks and he gently wiped them away. He kissed her again, mindful of the tiny infant in her arms.

"Come," she said and smiled at him. "You must be exhausted too. Lie down with us."

Matthew removed his jacket and waistcoat and lastly his shoes before easing down next to her on the bed. He was almost afraid of touching her, uncertain if he would hurt her.

"I am so proud of you," he said and kissed her cheek. "And happier than I've ever been. Thank you, my darling."

"He is perfect, don't you think?" she said and caressed the baby's little hand.

"Absolutely perfect," he agreed. He gently touched her chin and made her look at him. "What about you? How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted, sore, but more than anything so incredibly happy," she said and laughed.

They watched the baby fall asleep and spoke quietly about the future. A soft knock on the door announced Lady Grantham's return. Mary reluctantly handed her son to his grandmother for his first official visit downstairs. When the door closed behind them, Mary sighed and her eyes fluttered shut. Matthew pulled her into his arms and a moment later the two were sound asleep.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Lord Grantham was beside himself with pride and happiness. There in his arms rested this beautiful healthy little boy he now called his grandson. When the baby woke up and started crying he laughed at the strength of his lungs. After a moment he handed the baby over to Anna who took him back upstairs.

"A boy," he said and grinned at Cora. "The next heir."

"I know," she said and smiled fondly at him.

"He seems to be a strong little chap too," Robert said and laughed. "Philip Edward Crawley," he said proudly to himself.

"A good, strong name," the Dowager Countess agreed with a nod.

* * *

><p>.<p>

Anna quietly entered Lady Mary's room, cradling the baby in her arms. She stopped and took in the scene in front of her. Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew were both asleep. Anna smiled at how tenderly Matthew held his wife and how she smiled in her sleep, pressing closer to him.

The little boy made a displeased sound and Anna gently hushed him. As if knowing that her son needed her, Mary stirred and her eyes fluttered open. She smiled at Anna, making no move to pull away from Matthew. She and Anna shared too much for her to feel embarrassed about something as natural as sleeping next to her husband.

"Anna," she whispered.

"I'm sorry to wake you, milady. I know how tired you must be, but I think it's time for the baby to nurse."

Matthew's eyes flew open and he sat up when Mary pulled away from him. He stared wild-eyed at Anna for a brief moment before everything settled and he knew where he was and what was going on. He watched as Anna put the baby in Mary's arms and helped her undo the top of her nightgown. He stared in awe as the baby nursed, overcome with a feeling of magic. He looked up at Mary and their eyes met. She smiled fondly at him.

Anna glanced one last time at the little family before she left just as quietly as she had entered. The love and happiness surrounding the two and their child warmed her heart. Anna sighed and smiled and then closed the door with a faint click.

THE END


End file.
